


Red Label

by MyMindsMadness



Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Boruto Era, Casual Alcoholism, Depression, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Gore, PTSD, Sexual assualt, ShikaIno - Freeform, Violence, dark themes, don't look too hard at the timeline, kakasaku - Freeform, mentions/intended rape, or unexplained character disappearances, possible mary-sue?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:54:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21854056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyMindsMadness/pseuds/MyMindsMadness
Summary: Joining ANBU had been the final act of a desperate woman after her marriage fell apart. She never expected it to be the thing that made her bonds deeper, and her sense of self stronger.But Sakura Haruno had always shouldered the weight of her demons alone. That was a dangerous thing when the ghosts of the actions you had to take in the name of duty haunted you. Enter Kakashi Hatake. He’d always been there when she needed him, and this time he comes baring libations.Holding on by a thread and cheap saké, Sakura and Kakashi take comfort in each other.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi
Comments: 163
Kudos: 379





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this work has been sitting in my doc's folder for a while. It ended up going somewhere I wasn't 100% happy with, but I figure I might as well publish it. Someone might get some joy out of it lol. I'm not completely in love with Sakura's characterization by the end, nor am I sold on the way some things played out. You'll see, I suppose. 
> 
> Make sure to read warnings and notes! 
> 
> For those of you unfamiliar with my work: I tend to finish a piece before publishing it. That means, that I will post at least one chapter a day until the work is finished!

* * *

**Preface**

When Sakura had joined ANBU, she knew that this day would come. If she were being honest, she would admit that it wasn’t even as bad as it could have been. It still hurt… there was always hurt. Perhaps she had stars in her eyes the first time she slipped on the porcelain mask. She dreamed of doing something worthwhile. Something that made a difference to the village. Even if she didn’t get the recognition, it wouldn’t matter. After all, Sakura’s achievements had been looked over her whole life. At least this time, it was her own choice.

“There’s nothing you could have done.” Shikamaru’s flat tone was softer than usual.

“I know.”

She remembered how detached he had seemed growing up. It was a running joke for their generation. _Shikamaru Nara. Laziest shinobi to ever come out of Konoha._ It wasn’t detachment, she knew that now. Working with a group of elite ninja who were constantly surrounded by death – _that_ had taught Sakura what detachment was. Even when his tone was level, there was something behind it. She was glad that they shared a unit. Maybe she could learn to take things as well as he did.

He didn’t look away from the inferno as he handed her a smooth glass bottle. _Red Label_. It was the unofficial saké of the ANBU Black Ops. It was cheap and strong enough to knock Tsunade on her ass. Years before Sakura had ever dawned the mask, it became tradition to buy a bottle for an agent that had suffered a bad mission. That ranged in everything from failing their objective, to losing a member of their team. It was Sakura’s first bottle.

She winced against the burn as the smooth liquid passed over her tongue. Six. The child couldn't have been any older than six. He hadn’t even known what was happening when the rogue nin decided to barge into his room in an attempt to escape her team. Sakura didn’t get the chance to explain it to him before the entire house lit like the funeral pyre it had become, thanks to a panicked jutsu from a coward shinobi. 

“Does it get easier?” Her voice sounded almost emotionless. It was preferable, she supposed. She wasn’t supposed to break down. She wasn’t supposed to _feel_. That was the problem with having a big heart. She joined the organization because she _did_ feel.

“No.” Genma spoke honestly, the senbon in his mouth switching sides as the blazing roof finally gave way to collapse in on itself.

When the fire died, the three replaced their masks and made their way back home. All that was left in their wake was a pile of ash and an empty glass bottle.

The first time she lost a team member was harder. He had been young – only seventeen. He was fresh out of training and excited to be out in the field. Sakura was sure she would never forget the terror in his eyes – the moment of fearful realization – as he looked to her. She was the medic, after all. The kunai had punctured an artery. No matter how much chakra she pumped into him, there was no way to stop the bleeding, not with their enemies closing in. She wasn’t even able to bring his body home to his mother.

That was the first night Kakashi showed up at her door with a bottle of _Red Label_.

“You’re not supposed to know any of the details.” Sakura said plainly, but stepped aside to let him in.

“For a secret organization, Black Ops are terrible gossips.” He had been to her home enough to know where she kept the glasses. By the time she followed him into the kitchen, the saké was already poured. “Genma got sent back out. He told me what happened.”

“I forget sometimes that you were ANBU.” She admitted, taking her glass without hesitation. She was starting to associate the burn with loss. There was something almost poetic in that.

“Once ANBU, always ANBU.” It spoke to her mood that she hardly reacted when he tugged down the mask he had worn her whole life to drain his own cup. Later, she would chastise herself for not memorizing the details.

“I left him…” She admitted, her eyes staring into the table top as Kakashi poured another round. “I abandoned his body in enemy territory. I couldn’t even watch when Shika destroyed it.”

It had been an explosion. Sakura was sure that if she closed her eyes, she could still feel the vibrations. It wasn’t Shikamaru’s style. It was the act of a desperate agent following orders. The kid’s body held too many of Konoha’s secrets. There could be nothing left behind. It startled Sakura to realize that she hadn’t even known his name. It wasn’t out of callousness or lack of interest. She just hadn’t had time to ask it. Given the nature of their work, no one would ever know just what he had died for. A nameless kid in a porcelain mask that would never be put to rest.

“You followed orders.” Kakashi said simply as he nudged her cup with one long finger. “Drink.”

The first time Sakura bought a bottle of _Red Label_ , it was for Kakashi. She had been filing a mission report at headquarters when she got the news. Kakashi was back in the village, and he was hurt. More than that, his mission had been a hard one.

Despite the whispers, no one seemed to know just what his objective had been. All they knew was that the Copy Nin only got pulled back in for the worst cases. So she picked up the largest bottle she could find and made her way to the familiar apartment.

Sakura didn’t bother knocking on his front door, not when she knew he wouldn’t answer. Taking the faint glow of his bedroom light as an invitation, she jumped her way up the side of his building and through the cracked window. He didn’t look up as her feet landed softly on his floor. He simply sat on the edge of his bed, uniform in tatters and head hanging heavily in his hands. Although she couldn’t see it, the smell of blood hung heavy in the air. He didn’t lift his head until she reached his side, placing the heavy bottle in his now vacant hands. Now that she was closer, she could make out the large gash that started at his shoulder and disappeared under the back of his shirt.

Wordlessly, Sakura tore the already ripped fabric. She scoped out the damage with professional eyes before setting to work, her hands glowing a faint green as he popped the seal on the bottle.

“I had to kill a child today.” His words were hollow, but she could tell from his tone that the pain would come later. It always did. She was thankful when her hands didn’t falter. “He lost control of his kekkei genkai. Ten people were dead before I even got there. The village saw no other way to save the rest of their people...” She didn't acknowledge when his eyes pinched tightly shut. “He was ten.”

“You were following orders.” She replied softly. “Drink.”

He did.


	2. One

**Chapter One**

He didn’t knock before letting himself in; he never did. They couldn’t be bothered with it anymore, especially on those nights they carried a familiar glass bottle. She was surprised he used the door at all, often preferring the cracked window. Kakashi didn’t bother looking up from his ever-present orange book as he fell heavily onto the couch beside her, saké presented without care. Wordlessly, she took it. It bothered Sakura that she didn’t even feel the burn of the alcohol anymore. Or at least, it should have bothered her. All she could focus on at the moment was the nothingness of the far wall.

“Heard Ibiki tore into you.” He said simply, finally closing his book and pocketing it.

“Who told you?”

“No one. I heard him yelling from my apartment.” She gave a dry snort, taking another swig of the saké before holding the bottle out to him. She was going to become an alcoholic if she didn’t watch herself. Given her mentor, it was almost fitting.

“Mission was to secure a scroll. There were more hostiles than we expected, and it got ruined in the scuffle.”

“Ibiki loves his scrolls.” She hummed in agreement. “I think he’s still chewing Genma out.”

She winced. Poor Genma took a lot of the heat as Captain. “I’ll have to bring him a bottle.”

“Already left one in his mailbox.” When he didn’t hand the bottle back to her immediately, Sakura turned her lazy gaze to him.

He had his mask down again – a rare treat. She had been too depressed to really notice it the first time, but every time since then she made sure to at least catch a glimpse. It wasn’t at all like they had guessed as Genin. He didn’t have weird lips or a funny nose. He did have a beauty mark on his chin, but it was hardly off putting. The scar over his eye descended to his mid-cheek, but other than that it was just a face. A handsome face, true, but a face nonetheless.

She watched the way his throat flexed around the saké as he tilted his head back in a long drink. “This is supposed to be my pity party.”

He tisked lightly, but handed her the bottle. “If I had a bottle of saké for every time Ibiki lost it, I’d be constantly drunk. This was an excuse to drink with a friend.”

It was a soothing thought. Certainly better than a pity party for a failed mission. Even if they weren’t able to retrieve the scroll, it was out of enemy hands. “I have another mission tomorrow.”

He hummed in acknowledgement as his book made a reappearance. “I have a meeting with Naruto in the morning. I think he’s going to try and convince me to corrupt another crop of Genin.”

“Those poor children.” Sakura joked dryly, taking a swig of the alcohol. She wasn’t even sure what the use was. Thanks to her chakra control, it never even got her drunk. Then again, she didn’t think that was the purpose. It was an outlet for mourning their own failure and loss. It was a way to move on.

They sat in silence, each inside their own head before Kakashi looked around. “I don’t think I’ve ever noticed how quiet it was here.”

It was true. His place was small and in an older part of the village. There was always noise there. Here, Sakura had just enough silence to be haunted by her thoughts. “That’s what happens when your ex-husband leaves on a mission and doesn’t return for a year.”

That was enough to draw his focus from the page. “Ex? You and Sasuke divorced?”

“Six months ago.” She drained the bottle before giving him a sly, if not humorless smile. “I can’t wait until he finds out.”

Kakashi barked a short laugh. “He doesn’t know?”

“Has no idea.” She chuckled lightly, letting her head fall back against the couch. “I filed and he wasn’t there to contest it. Maybe if he came home once in a while, he’d know.”

Another beat. “I’m sorry to hear that. It seemed like you two deserved a happy ending after all that you went through.”

“I don’t think there are happy endings, Kakashi.” She admitted in a voice that held no real emotion. “Life doesn’t work like that. There’s no cut to black or happily ever after. There’s always going to be a new chapter – a new hurtle to overcome. The only ending for life is death, and that’s rarely happy.”

“Why, Sakura. I didn’t realize that I had such a strong influence on you all these years.”

She let the corners of her mouth lift in an easy smile as her head lulled to the side. Still, his eyes were on that tiny book. Even in profile, he was handsome. If they had met in another time and place, Sakura might have even thought about pursuing him. Even now, the thought crossed her mind every now and again. But maybe Shikamaru was rubbing off on her. The thought of changing what they had for a few hours of pleasure seemed… troublesome.

“Is that why you’re always reading? For the happy endings?”

He breathed deeply, his dark eyes narrowing in thought. “I suppose so.” She knew him well enough to know that his smile was fake. Just like she knew better than to press the matter. “We don’t get a lot of that in our line of work.”

“No.” She hummed as she looked back to the ceiling with disinterest. “I suppose not.”

Despite how perverted he could be at times, Genma was probably the only one that actually knocked and waited to be let in. Even Shikamaru would come in through her window, half of his body lingering outside so that he could take a final drag from his cigarette. Kakashi was sometimes at her place more than she was, and Ino often stormed in screaming. When he wasn’t out on missions, Sai typically fell asleep in her guest room. He claimed it was because he enjoyed her home, but she thought it had more to do with the loneliness of living alone. It was something she understood better than most. In spite of how often the two ex-teammates shared a roof, Sai kept out of her way. It was almost like living with a ghost. There would be an odd sign of his presence here and there, but the man himself was a rare sight. 

Opening the door, Sakura was greeted with a half conscious Genma, his head on the frame and three takeout bags dangling from his fingers. “One of these days, I’m going to wake up fat.”

“Maybe you should have skipped the extra pork then.” She hummed, already knowing exactly what he ordered. It was always the same thing.

“It’s a lean meat.” She knew he would have pouted if he had the energy.

Their mission had run longer than expected, thanks to their target giving them the run around. They managed to take him down but by the time they did, they were outside Suna. A little further and they would have missed him all together. Gaara and Naruto might have been friends, but ANBU crossing territories like that could cause problems.

“What a drag.” Shikamaru groaned as he peered into the bags. “They forgot the Takoyaki again.” He squinted through the smoke that curled upward from his lips as he unpacked the containers.

“And you forgot that I don’t want these things in my house.” Sakura plucked the cigarette from between his lips and dunked it in his tea.

“That was my last one, woman!” Shikamaru bit back with no real anger. “Now I’ll have to stop on my way home.”

“Or you could just stop all together.”

Genma slid the senbon from his mouth, placing it on the table next to his ANBU mask. “You two have been having the same argument for a year now.” He rested his cheek in his palm and watched them lazily.

“He’s still smoking.” Sakura shrugged and grabbed the nearest container. “As a medic, it would be irresponsible of me to not lecture him.”

Shikamaru tisked but said nothing otherwise. Sakura knew that deep down he didn’t enjoy smoking. There was a chance that he was addicted at this point, but he didn’t smoke out of want. He smoked to remember. There was something almost admirable about that. Sakura felt like she often tried to forget. Maybe that was the real reason she had joined ANBU in the first place. She wanted to forget the person she was. The one that had wasted so many years chasing a boy that didn’t treat her with love. She could have forgiven herself if she hadn’t grown into a _woman_ chasing a _man_ that didn’t treat her with love. Joining Black Ops wasn’t about chasing anything but redemption. _And possibly_ – a dark corner of her mind whispered – _death._

“You look beat.” At Sakura’s glare, Genma held up his hands. “Did I say beat? I meant beautiful. Ethereal even.” She rolled her eyes. Somehow, she had managed to eat her entire meal without tasting it.

“Are you guys spending the night?”

“I’m dead on my feet. I’ll take the couch. Sai’s in the spare room, right?” Shikamaru asked, patting his pockets for his cigarettes before frowning when he remembered he didn’t have any.

“I think he left this morning after he was sure I made it back.” In a way, it was sweet.

“Dibs on the spare room!” Genma jumped up with a burst of energy. He grabbed his beloved senbon with a smile, waving before practically skipping down the hall.

“What a drag.”

Naruto always looked so serious these days. There was a time when Sakura couldn’t get him to act serious if their lives depended on it – and it often did. As much as she had gotten on his case in their younger years, she had grown to love his goofball ways. There was something about his optimism that was contagious. He always left an impression… and then he achieved his dream. Sakura always silently wondered if he regretted that. He had worked so hard to become the Hokage. It was all he ever wanted. And now that he had it, he looked so unhappy. There were rare instances where Sakura got a glimpse of that optimistic boy with stars in his eyes, but then he would remember his title and grow hard around the edges. It was ironic, when she really thought about it. They had both achieved their childhood dreams, and were miserable adults for having done so.

At least in Sakura’s case, she was the only one effected by it. All of their friends were talking about the shadowclone incident at Himawari’s birthday. The term ‘bad father’ had been spreading like wildfire. Sakura wouldn’t go that far, though she was curious as to why he hadn’t left the shadowclone at the office and gone to the party himself.

“Are you sure you want another mission, Sakura?” He asked with narrowed eyes. She didn’t think they were narrowed because of her, but rather how long he had been staring at the paperwork in front of him. “This will be your seventh one in a row. Genma and Shikamaru already put in their requests, but don’t you guys want some time off?”

She had put in the request with Ibiki, but apparently Naruto decided that he needed to step in. Technically, the Hokage was in charge of ANBU, but they rarely interfered and left the task to the people that knew what they were doing. There was talk of Ibiki retiring, but surly they would promote someone beforehand and not leave it up to Naruto.

“If Shika and Genma put in their requests too, why am I the only one you’re questioning?” She asked with a raised brow.

Leaning back in his chair, Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose. He probably needed glasses, but he could see his own medic if he was worried about that. “I’m just worried about you, Sakura. Ever since Sasuke left, you haven’t been the same. Even before that, you were acting strange.”

“My personal life has nothing to do with my ability to do my job. If you look at my file, you’ll see that my team has a ninety-seven percent success rate and only one fatality this year. Those numbers are well above what’s expected for such a new team.” She stood taller, her hands on her hips. It was times like this that she missed Tsunade. The woman worried, but never babied Sakura. Even Kakashi didn’t treat her like she would break at any moment. Naruto never seemed to forget that she was once a scared twelve year old girl.

“This isn’t about your numbers, Sakura. I’m worried about _you_.” His frown deepened. She hated that look. The _pity_. When she joined ANBU, she swore she’d never be pitied again. “You’re not the same Sakura. You’re stiff and cold. You’re detached from everyone that’s not a current or former teammate. The Sakura I knew wouldn’t just take mission after mission to prove that she was strong.”

Is that what he thought it was? Her way of proving something? And to whom? “And the Naruto I knew wouldn’t turn his back on the family he had longed for, just to work a few extra hours. Especially when he knew firsthand what it was like to grow up without a father.” He stiffened. Even as the shock grew on his features, Sakura felt the rage bubble inside of her. “People change. We grow up and lose the childish idealizations that we had before we knew any better.”

“Sakura…” She didn’t want to see the hurt in his eyes. She wanted him to be angry. She wanted him to fight. It was jarring to realize that she missed the sound of his obnoxious screaming. “Black Ops isn’t good for you. You should have never joined.”

“But I did.” She shrugged with a sigh. “And whether or not I continue in it isn’t your choice. So, if you’d let the director handle my mission schedule the way you let him handle everyone else’s, I’d appreciate it.” Back stiff, Sakura gave a shallow bow. “Have a nice day, Lord Hokage.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta, so please forgive any grammatical errors!


	3. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING!**
> 
> This chapter contains mentions of sexual assault and rape!

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Sakura wasn’t surprised to find Kakashi in her house late one night when she returned from a mission. She _was_ surprised however, to find him drunk. He sat heavily in the middle of her couch, staring at the wall that had held so much interest to her two weeks prior. The _Red Label_ in his hand sat half empty and neglected where it rested against his thigh. The only reason she even knew he was drunk, was due to the light swaying. She didn’t bother changing out of her dirty uniform before sinking into the cushion next to him.

“Should have let me buy that for you.” She watched him carefully, her upper body twisted slightly in his direction.

“You did.” He held up a familiar credit card between two fingers.

Sakura would yell at him later. For now, she simply tossed it on the coffee table. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Kakashi’s voice was a slurred whisper, the shake of his head increasing his swaying.

She didn’t push. He never pushed her when things got bad. Sometimes the only thing that could help was to wallow in the darkness. Kakashi drank his saké slowly, his eyes unfocused. Sakura had a feeling it wasn’t his first bottle of the night. When it was finished, she gingerly took it from him and placed it next to her card. She was surprised to find his hazy eyes on her when she settled back.

“Sometimes… I swear I can still hear their voices.” The unremoved mask was soaked with saké, but Kakashi seemed unbothered by this. He just watched her with pained, questioning eyes.

“The voices of fallen comrades, or the ones of those you were forced to cut down?”

“…Yes.”

The silence stretched between them. Sakura knew what he meant, though she couldn’t possibly know to his degree. Silently, she wondered if this was all brought on by a mission, or if it was just one of those days where the weight got too heavy to carry. He didn’t seem to mind her lack of answer. His head was bobbing now, his eyes even narrower than usual.

“Come on. You can sleep in the spare room.”

Kakashi blinked slowly up at her as she stood. “I don’t think I can walk.”

Her smile was genuine, if not a bit sad. “You’re cute.” The compliment fell from quirked lips as she grabbed one of his arms. Channeling her chakra, Sakura easily lifted him over her shoulder, carrying him down the hall as if he weighed nothing. “If you throw up on me, I’ll never forgive you.” She warned, but he was already out by the time she dropped him on the bed.

The first time Sakura had seen Kakashi drunk, it was life-altering. She supposed that despite the fact that they were both adults, she still held him on the same pedestal all young kids held their parents and teachers. She had been seventeen at the time, and the war had just ended. It was a hard lesson to learn in life. The one where you realize that all the people that seemed to have it figured out were just as clueless and scared as you were. That was probably when Kakashi stopped being a sensei in her eyes. That was when she realized he was _human_.

He was gone by the time she woke up the next morning, but she had expected that much. Smiling, Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and looked around the spare room. Unexpectedly, the bed was made and the room tidier than it had been the previous night. She supposed that after all these years, Kakashi could still surprise her.

Sakura had been angry at the amount of training she had to go through to join Black Ops. Everyone knew of her skill, her control, and her ability in the field. She had scoffed at the three-month long workshops, and had raised hell about how unfair it was that the female agents had to take an extra class. It had always been that way, though. Women were always taught to expect the worst. Enemies might torture a man, but they would rape a woman. It wasn’t as if the female agents were unaware of what could happen in the field. Sakura had openly declared the whole thing useless... And she had been right.

Here she was, chained to a wall in enemy territory, and she couldn’t remember one word of her training. Then again, perhaps that was on her. She wasn’t sure how long they had been locked in the stone room with little more than a lightbulb and dried hay in place of an actual bathroom. They were lined up like prisoners for execution. Maybe they were. Their captors didn’t speak the same language, so it was hard to tell.

Their handcuffs kept their arms too far apart for jutsu, and were ingrained with something that kept the wearer from replenishing chakra. It had to be close to three days now – Sakura guessed by the amount of water and crumbs of food they had been given. They were dirty, and beaten, and weak… weaker than Sakura had been her whole life. She tried to conserve chakra, but the handcuffs had already drained more than she would have liked. She knew the others were suffering too, even if they didn’t speak. Whenever the guards left them alone, Shikamaru would try to wordlessly stretch his shadow. It had been something he had been working on for a while, but without the use of his hands, he couldn’t do much. Genma’s jaw worked night and day without the stress release of his favorite senbon. She knew he blamed himself for their capture, if only because he was the captain. No one was to blame. The information they had was false, and the trap was set long before they arrived.

Sakura’s mossy eyes lifted to her teammates, taking in the state of them. Genma had been smacked around the most; probably because he had mouthed off the first day. Shikamaru sported a black eye and a busted lip, but they didn’t seem to care about him much. Sakura’s wounds were mostly superficial. The slash from her collarbone to sternum had scabbed over the day prior, and her broken wrist wasn’t so bad. Ironically, the angle that the cuffs held her arm in helped reduce the pain and swelling… Until she fell asleep. Even when the trio found a moment to rest, it was made nearly impossible because the cuffs kept them suspended on their knees. The rough stone had stopped hurting a while ago, but Sakura suspected the other aches and pains just overshadowed it. They had touched her, and kissed her, but hadn’t tried to rape her after she bit one’s tongue off. There was a small amount of satisfaction in knowing the blood across her chin and cheek wasn’t her own.

The small ANBU team didn’t speak often. It was the first rule. Not to their captors, and not to each other. Sakura thought idly about the cyanide capsule hidden in the sole of her shoe. _Five days._ That was the average length for search and rescue. Genma caught her gaze, forcing a ghost of a smile on his face. She couldn’t help but match it when he winked. She longed to speak to them – to know what they were thinking. Did they think about their own concealed capsule? Did they think about loved ones?

Sakura strengthened her resolve as one of the wardens entered with a sickening smile. He was large in every sense of the word, and had the hygiene of a stray dog. He spoke quickly in the dialect that sounded more like hisses than actual words. With a big-bellied laugh, a guard closed the door behind him. He came to kneel in front of Sakura, mumbling a few hissed words. His paw of a hand grabbed her chin so tightly, she was sure she heard something crack. He laughed again when this earned him a tired glare.

“You fight.” His words were broken and heavily accented. “I like.” He released her chin to dip his hand inside the cut neck of her ANBU top, roughly pawing at her bare breast.

“Don’t touch her.” She was surprised that it was Shikamaru that was the first to break.

_Bear Hands_ retreated from his groping to laugh at Shika. Catching his eye, Sakura shook her head lightly. Antagonizing them would only make it worse. She knew what was coming. She had been expecting it since the first night – and the cold dread had settled in her stomach ever since. She just wished that her teammates wouldn’t have to watch. What would happen to Sakura was shameful enough without her teammates bearing witness.

The man laughed deeply again, spouting a few hissing words before gesturing to Sakura. “She is yours?”

Shikamaru opened his mouth to reply but Genma must have given him a sign to stop. When Bear Hands realized he’d be getting no more entertainment from the boys, he turned back to her. Genma and Shikamaru stared straight ahead, their faces blank, and their eyes locking onto the far wall. For that, she was thankful. The large man rooted around in his pockets as he watched her, glee in his beady eyes. Under the thick brows and thicker lids, she could just make out two little balls of grey. _Kakashi’s eyes were grey_. It was an odd thought at an odder time, but she accepted it for what it was. The last time Sakura had seen him before her mission had been the night prior. They didn’t drink this time, choosing instead to share a box of cheap takeout. They hadn’t done anything particularly spectacular, so Sakura found it strange to focus on _that_ memory. _He had smiled though_ – she remembered noting it at the time. _He hadn’t genuinely smiled in a long time_.

“She is mine.” Bear Hands said simply as he finally managed to work a vial of clear liquid and an impossibly long syringe from his tight pocket. “This make good.” He declared as he filled the syringe with the mystery liquid. It annoyed Sakura further that he was doing it incorrectly. “You like.” 

To her left, Genma shuffled a little, but his gaze remained true. On Genma’s other side, Shikamaru breathed heavily – his nostrils flaring. _Okay_ Sakura thought as her heart picked up. If ever there was a time to do something, this was it. She would have to apologize to Ibiki for calling those classes stupid. _If_ they managed to get out.

Bear Hands dropped the now-empty vial, checking the plunger on the syringe before moving forward. “Mmm.” Sakura hummed, letting a slow smile pull at her lips. She could tell by the way he hesitated that it had taken him off guard. “I already like.”

Her words were little more than a purr, although the effect was diminished by the hoarseness of her disused voice. He seemed skeptical, but that didn’t stop a slow smile from spreading across his beefy face. It took all of Sakura’s training not to gag at the unsightly tent in his pants. “You want?” He laughed when he caught her gaze. These men must have been desperate for women if they were falling for such an obvious ruse.

She made a show of licking her cracked lips as she stood up taller on her knees. The simple movement hurt her whole body. “Why don’t you come see for yourself?” She twisted her body slightly so that her ass was practically presented to her captor. “You wanna use that needle on me, right? It’ll make me feel good? Why don’t you stick it here and then make it feel better?”

“Good.” He nodded as he waddled forward, disgusting bulge first. “Yes.”

When he was so close that Sakura could feel the tip of the needle, she twisted back around, slamming her forehead into the man’s face. Mentally, she made a note to never complain about the size of her brow again. The crunch that echoed around them was almost as satisfying as the amount of blood that poured from between the warden’s overly large hands. Taking advantage of his surprise and pain, Sakura used her knee to kick the forgotten syringe in Genma’s direction. He quickly shuffled and hid it beneath him as another guard rushed in to see what the screaming was about.

Bear Hands stood with a shout as the guard muttered on about something. His beady eyes turned cold as he looked to Sakura. Her smile of satisfaction was worth the heavy backhand that whipped her face to the side, causing her eyes to cross. He called her something that sounded suspiciously like ‘cunt’, but she didn’t care. It was only a matter of time now. Watching the heavy door close behind the still yelling man, Sakura spat a mouthful of blood into the hay behind her.

“When we get out of here, I’m going to marry you.” Genma joked weakly when they were surrounded by silence again. It was the first thing he had said in days. Using his knees, he manipulated the syringe until the needle broke off.

“That was reckless.” Shikamaru sighed but looked her over. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve had worse.” She shrugged with the lie. “And we all will if we can’t get out of here.”

“Working on it, sweetheart. Don’t make me regret my proposal.” Genma spoke through clenched teeth as he slowly tried to work the needle upward towards his mouth.

“Be careful. There might still be some of that concoction in there.” Sakura advised when he finally got it between his teeth.

“From what I gathered, it makes you horny. This stuff is pretty much my lifeblood.” Genma grasped the chains and slowly pulled himself to his feet. Despite his words, he was drained too. Holding the makeshift senbon between his teeth, he maneuvered the other end into the keyhole of the first handcuff.

Shikamaru glanced at the door before worried eyes landed on Sakura. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m fine.” She lied again. She had lost blood, been assaulted, been cut and beaten, but it didn’t matter. She had to keep it together. When Genma’s first cuff fell away and he turned to the second, Sakura sighed. He was too weak. They all were. Even if they got out of this room, they probably wouldn’t make it past the first guard. “I was hoping that it wouldn’t have to come to this. I wanted to save it in case we really needed it on a future mission. I didn’t think it would take this long for a rescue party.” Struggling, she shakily pulled herself to her feet, carefully nursing her broken wrist.

“You can’t mean…” Shikamaru rose with effort as Genma finally freed himself. “Don’t waste it, Sakura. We’re almost out of here. That’s three years worth of work.”

“He’s right, sweetheart.” Genma chided gently as he moved to her cuffs. “Just a few more minutes and we’ll be free.”

“Of these handcuffs, maybe. What about the guards outside? Not to mention, we’re underground. Who knows how many are between us and the forest?”

Genma’s jaw jumped as he fiddled with the needle. “We’ll figure out something.” It was almost a whisper.

“Genma…” As his worried eyes slid to her face, the black lines of Sakura’s seal were already to her neck. “I’m punching my way out.”


	4. Three

**Chapter Three**

Sakura refused to go to the hospital, with the excuse that the seal had taken care of her wounds. She refused to go in for a psychological evaluation, with the excuse that she would go in the morning after some sleep. She refused to go home with no excuse at all - because she didn’t need to make excuses to herself. She wasn’t sure why she chose to go to _his_ place instead of sticking with Genma and Shikamaru. Maybe she just wanted to get away before the reality of it hit her.

The darkness was pressing down on her - even before she slipped in through his open window. The apartment was empty and silent, but that was okay. It was familiar. It was _safe_. That was one thing Sakura could always count on Kakashi for. He had always stayed true to his word when it came to keeping Sakura safe. And maybe it went against the strength she was trying to find in herself – to expect her Sensei to protect her against the monsters that now only lived in her own head. But just for tonight, she didn’t want to be alone with them.

Sakura moved without seeing to the master bathroom, only turning on a light once she reached it. The door was left open, her mind too preoccupied to care about future modesty. She ignored the dirt and dried blood that fell from her clothes as she peeled them away. With each new layer, Sakura felt her bravado weaken. She crawled into the empty tub before turning the hot water tap. By the time it reached her ankles, it was scalding. Hugging her knees to her chest, Sakura laid her forehead against them. She only moved from the position once, to turn off the water when it grew cold.

That was exactly how Kakashi found her forty minutes later. Her head was still buried in her knees, but she could see the way he faltered at the door. She wanted to apologize. For being in his apartment, for being naked in his bathtub, for pushing all of this on him when he had no obligation to help her. By the time she lifted her head to look at him, he was stepping cautiously into the bathroom. Sakura had been crying. Not delicate, beautiful tears like Ino had always managed, but big ugly sobs that left her face swollen and a patchy red. She was sure the tears had cut trails through the dried blood on her face. Even though she had been sitting in the cooling water for nearly an hour, and despite the fact that it had turned a pink so deep it was practically red, Sakura couldn’t bring herself to actually wash. She just wanted to sit in the scalding water until she didn’t feel like she had in that prison.

“I heard.” Kakashi’s voice was soft, even as he tugged down his mask so she could see the full extent of his frown. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you…” A pause. “Sakura… Did they…” He licked his lips, seemingly unable to bring himself to say the word.

She had trouble speaking through the fresh set of sobs gathering in her throat, so she started with a soft shake of her head. “They came close, but we got away before...” She didn’t feel like explaining past that. “I’m sorry about your tub.”

Something akin to a smile crossed Kakashi’s lips. “You’re cute.” Sakura tried to smile as he parroted her own words, but when her eyes watered, she buried her face back into the safety of her arms. She understood what he was trying to convey. She had been there then, and he was going to be here now.

She felt the air shift as he kneeled beside the tub, and heard it as he moved some things around. The water lapped around her slightly as he reached into the tub and pulled the stopper. She expected kind words or probing questions, but none came. Similarly, Sakura didn’t offer unprompted answers for lack of words that conveyed the ache in her chest. When the tub was empty, she shivered against the new chill, but it didn’t last long. When the tap ran again, the temperature was far more suited for washing.

Only when she felt the gentle brush of a washcloth over where her ANBU tattoo sat, did Sakura lift her face. Kakashi’s hand paused, apprehension in his deep eyes. He wanted to help her, but was as unsure as she was. “Is this okay?” He was whispering again.

She didn’t feel fear or repulsion from his touch. Just like she hadn’t felt it as Shika and Genma practically carried her through the gates. Because her boys were _safe_. Somewhere in the sane region of Sakura’s mind, she knew that helping her walk and being bathed were not of the same realm. But she was okay. She was _safe_. Her head bobbed slightly in approval, but his resumed movements were still cautious.

Sakura supposed it should have been awkward - to have her old sensei, and now friend wash her body. At the very least, it should have felt intimate. As strange as it was, she found the act comforting. It was rare that anyone took care of _her_. With mask tugged around his neck and sleeves rolled to his elbows, Kakashi slowly washed away a week’s worth of dirt and blood. To his credit, his eyes and hands stayed focused on the task, never wandering or lingering. He was truly doing it for the sole purpose of taking care of her. The pile of used, bloody washcloths was nearly to the brim of the tub by the time he reached her face. Taking her chin gently between his fingers, Kakashi ran the warm washcloth over her sensitive skin. For lack of anywhere else to look, Sakura’s eyes moved over the sharpness of his face.

He looked more his age with his features tightened and focused - not that he was even that old. The years of heartache and loss weighed on him though. She could see it now. The way the snag between his brows left a little crease, even when he was perfectly relaxed. The way that the years of faking smiles had deepened the lines around his eyes. The way that even when his face was relaxed, his full lips tugged downward at the corners. It was all there - written on his features for the world to see. That was probably why he covered them with a mask.

His face was hidden from her as she closed her eyes, the warm cloth dabbing at her swollen lids. When she was sure he was done, she opened them again. She was lucky to have him in her life. Maybe that’s why she had thought of him in the darkness of that prison. Somehow, Kakashi Hatake had become her confidant and best friend over the years. Someone she could trust with her life. With anything, really. Their current state spoke to that.

“Kakashi.” His movements paused at the sound of her voice. Probably because it was the first thing either of them had spoken in over an hour. His eyes seemed to focus before finding hers. “Thank you.”

The smile he gave her was nothing more than a momentary twitch of the lips. _Haunted_. He was as haunted as she was. She could see it in his eyes. Hesitantly, Kakashi used the fingers that still held her chin to tilt her face upward a hair. Softly, his bare lips pressed to her forehead. He lingered there for a breath before pulling back and continuing on with his task.

It was a comforting gesture. One born out of care and friendship. It was something that Genma and Sai had done on occasion. Even Shikamaru had kissed her forehead once after a particularly hard mission. That was what made it all the more worrisome when Kakashi’s lips made Sakura’s stomach drop in a way that it hadn’t in years. 

The bottle in her hand seemed heavier than usual as Sakura looked up at Kakashi’s illuminated window. They had gone months without an incident. Everything had been smooth after Sakura’s meltdown in his apartment. They didn’t even speak of it, for fear of bringing bad luck… and then the S-Ranked mission from hell landed on Ibiki’s desk. An entire clan was to be wiped out. They were a ninja family that had been posing as civilians to steal information on a forbidden jutsu. The small shinobi village was an ally of the Leaf, but didn’t have the manpower to wipe out fifty people. They offered double what Konoha was asking for an S-Ranked. Sakura still didn’t know what to think of Naruto accepting it. No one wanted to do it. A few of the newer recruits offered, but were turned down and practically shunned by the senior members. To the rookies, wiping out a clan sounded like something to brag about, but they hadn’t been around for the Uchiha massacre. It wasn’t just about wiping out the leading men of the clan, that had no doubt dragged their families into the suicide mission. Every man, woman, and child would need to be eliminated. No matter the involvement… No matter the age.

Sakura’s veins had turned to ice when she caught Kakashi’s eye as he left the office the next day. She knew instantly that they were sending him. With a heavy heart, Sakura bought the saké that same night. Now, six days later, she ran to his place the second moment his return was announced.

Kakashi wasn’t on the edge of his bed this time, but on the floor with his back to it. His legs were bent at the knee, far enough apart to support his elbows. His hands were buried so far in his unkempt hair, that Sakura couldn’t even see them. It wasn’t the still-bloodied sword at his side that gave Sakura pause, but the shaking of his shoulders. Despite learning years ago that Kakashi was human, it was still dumbfounding to see him cry. She placed the saké on his nightstand as quietly as possible, but his head still lifted at the small _clink_.

His mask remained in place, even though it looked as if he was having trouble catching his breath. His eyes… They were red, swollen, and… _empty_. Not in a way that meant he felt nothing, but in a way that meant he was tired of feeling _everything_. They were the eyes of a man that lost more than he could bear… The eyes of a man that was ready for it all to end.

Unceremoniously, Sakura dropped heavily to her knees between his spread legs. He had a few minor cuts and bruises, but the surface wounds were minor. Sakura cupped his cheek softly, making sure her movements were slow and careful. When her other hand found its way to his hair, Kakashi seemed to wake. His arms shot out like vipers, constricting tightly around her waist. Hugging his head to her chest, Sakura rested her cheek against the nest of white locks. She squeezed him as hard as she dared, the hand by his temple brushing his hair from his face. 

Even as Kakashi’s shaking subsided, his arms remained locked in place. When his breathing evened out, Sakura closed her eyes. “Do you want a drink?”

Cradled head shaking lightly, his large hands spread across Sakura’s back to pull her body tighter against his. “Just stay here with me.” His rough voice was no more than a whisper.

Her legs hurt, and head ached, but Sakura smiled softly as she brushed the hair from his forehead. Placing a soft kiss to the exposed flesh, Sakura breathed deeply. “Okay.” 

Sakura’s eyes traveled to the road, checking to make sure that their target had not arrived. They weren’t due for another hour, but that didn’t stop her from checking every ten minutes. Beside her, Shikamaru stretched out along the length of the branch. Arms pillowing his head, his eyes peered through the canopy of leaves to the clear sky beyond. What she wouldn’t give to be that relaxed. In the tree next to them, Gemna sat with a kunai - seemingly trying his hand at whittling.

“I’m proud of you, Shika.” Sakura declared as she twirled her own kunai between her fingers. “We’ve been out here for three hours, and you haven’t once pulled out a cigarette.”

He gave a non-committal shrug. “Gave them up. They’re not good for me.”

Genma’s whittling halted, which was good news for the toothpick that remained of the branch he had started with. Meeting Sakura’s eyes, they shared a secret smile. “Uh-huh.” Genma started, his smile growing. “Who is she?”

Shikamaru scoffed, but it was just a little _too_ forced. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Don’t you have another branch to decimate?” 

“ _Ooh_ , I’m sensing a hint of falsehood.” Sakura hummed as Genma jumped to their branch, throwing an arm around her shoulders.

“I think our little Shika is growing up and starting to notice girls. Maybe it’s time we had _the talk_ with him…”

A long-winded sigh escaped the lazy shinobi. “You’re both troublesome. I should have just agreed to teach a bunch of Genin.”

Forcing himself to sit up, Shikamaru glared at the pair. “Don’t look at us so sternly, Shika!” Sakura pouted. “We’re your squad! If you can’t trust us to keep your secrets, who can you trust?”

“Myself.”

“So you admit that there’s a secret girl then?” Genma’s smile was nearly sinister as Shikamaru’s face grew more pinched. “She must be something if you’re giving up smoking for her. Give us a hint. What color are her eyes?”

Sakura bit back a smile as Shikamaru’s cheeks took on the slightest hint of pink. “None of your business.”

“Oh! That means they’re distinctive, am I right!?” She nearly bounced in excitement when his blush deepened. “That narrows it down. Let’s see…” She feigned a gasp. “Hinata? She’s a married woman, Shika!”

“You cad!” Genma played along. “And the Hokage’s wife of all women!”

“It’s not-“ Shikamaru cut himself off with a short scoff. “No. I’m not falling for it.”

“It’d have to be someone he has history with.” Genma theorized as they both turned to ignore him. “Our precious baby Shika isn’t going to just _give_ his heart away.”

“But he’s only giving up smoking now, so it could be a new thing.” Sakura offered. “Unless _she’s_ not new, but there’s been a new development!”

“Kissing might be new. No woman likes kissing an ashtray.”

“I can attest to that.” Even though they were ignoring him, Sakura could feel the annoyance rolling off Shikamaru.

“So. Someone with distinctive eyes. That doesn’t like smoking. Would be single - but open to a new relationship. And someone that he has known long enough to be comfortable around.”

“Excuse me, ladies?” Shikamaru cut in dryly as he pulled on his porcelain owl mask. “If you two are done, our target is approaching.”

All humor was forgotten as they followed his lead. The caravan wasn’t very large, but it was heavily guarded by hired rogue nin from different villages. That meant different rankings and specialties. At Genma’s signal, Sakura leapt from the tree. Channeling chakra into her foot, she landed in the middle of the road, watching as the path cracked and crumbled, throwing the wagons nearly sideways. The reaction was instant from both sides.

Leading the men away from the dislodged caravan, they fell into an easy rhythm. The chakra in Sakura’s fist gathered as she hurled it at the first man stupid enough to attack her. His sternum gave way under the force, sending him flying into a nearby tree. Three more repeated the attempt, all meeting the same fate. As the third one fell, Sakura felt her body being forced down, just in time to avoid a katana to the head. The shadow that had been controlling her retracted just as quickly as it had come. Nodding a thank you in Shikamaru’s direction, Sakura returned to the fray.

It felt like hours before they managed to completely wipe out the enemy. Bodies scattered the broken road, blood settling into the dust left behind. It was missions like this that reminded Sakura of why she loved being ANBU. The leader of this group had been smuggling women across borders in a large sex-trafficking ring. Who knew how many women they had just saved from the same fate.

“I’m going to check the wagons for any victims. You two heal up and take a body count.” Genma’s voice sounded tired.

A quick onceover showed that he was a little scraped up, but fine. It was the same for Sakura. Shikamaru on the other hand, had a kunai sticking out of his shoulder. “Let me heal you and then we’ll worry about them.”

He didn’t protest, but dropped cross-legged to the ground. Moving behind him, Sakura inspected the area. “Just make it quick. It hurts like a bitch.”

“Try to think of something to take your mind off of it.” Sakura offered as she slipped off her medpak. “Like, how long have you been in love with Ino?” Behind her mask, Sakura’s smile widened when he stiffened.

“Four.” He mumbled as she ripped his shirt to get to the blade.

“Four years?” She hummed. This was going to hurt.

“No. Since we were four.” Sakura paused. That long? How could he stand to not say anything for all these years? “It was her eyes. They reminded me of the sky.” His mask tilted back as he looked up.

“That’s really sweet, Shika. You should tell her how you feel. Now, try not to scream.” With one quick motion, she yanked the kunai from his shoulder.


	5. Four

**Chapter Four**

Summer hit Konoha like a kick to the face. Sakura would be willing to bet that their temperatures could rival the Wind’s this year. And thanks to too many unused vacation days, she was being forced to take a week off. Naturally, she decided to spend that week pestering Kakashi.

“I’m bored…” Sakura sighed. When he didn’t look up from his book, she frowned. “And hot.” Kakashi made a noncommittal noise, but still his eyes didn’t move. “And horny.”

His head shot up so quickly, Sakura was sure that she had heard something crack. “What?”

With a smile, she sat up from her reclined position. “Made you look, now you can’t pretend you don’t hear me.”

“I wasn’t pretending I didn’t hear you.” His voice was dull. Absently, he rubbed his neck. “I was ignoring you. There’s a difference.”

“You’re so mean to me, Kaka-Sensei.” She pouted. When he stiffened slightly, Sakura’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be calling me that? I haven’t been your sensei in over a decade.” His eyes were back on his book, but he seemed to hold himself tenser.

Using the skills she had picked up over the years, Sakura attempted to read his body language. “You seem so offended.” She hummed, noting the way his eyes didn’t move across the page. “You don’t like it when I call you sensei? Naruto still calls you it all the time.” His adam’s apple bobbed.

“We’re colleagues.” _Deflection_. Sakura’s mind supplied. Leaning back in his recliner, she smiled when he met her eyes. He knew she was watching him. _So that’s it._

She thought about saying something, but this was loaded information. It wasn’t that he disliked being called sensei. It was that he _liked_ it when _she_ called him that. At least, that’s what seemed to be the case. This was like a bomb in the palm of her hand. She could use it against him right now. The fact that she hadn’t was telling in and of itself. Perhaps that was because a small part of her (the part that hadn’t had sex in a year) liked it to.

Finally, she took mercy on him. “Fine, _Kakashi_ , you’ve failed to entertain me, which means I need to come up with my own solution.” He hummed dismissively. With pursed lips, Sakura tilted her head to the side. “Why haven’t you ever married?”

_Ah, look. He’s tense again._ Kakashi sighed in defeat, finally closing his book and putting it aside. Sakura’s smile was one of false innocence. “I just haven’t gotten around to it.” He replied in a bored tone.

“Really, Kakashi.” Resting her chin in the palm of her hand, she watched him. “You’re handsome, successful in your chosen career, kind, and I know you’re loaded because you’ve been mooching off of me for years.”

His eyes crinkled in a genuine smile. “Ah. You’re making me blush.” He teased as he rubbed the back of his neck again. “I’ll answer your question if you answer one of mine.” With a roll of her eyes, Sakura bobbed her head the best she could with it in her palm. “It felt selfish. The life we live as shinobi isn’t one that’s made for companionship. Most are dead by my age, and those that aren’t probably will be soon. I saw how my father struggled to take care of me alone after my mother’s death. It seems like just another way to leave somebody hurting.”

Something in her chest tightened. “That’s so sad. What about ‘better to have loved and lost’? Not a sentiment you hold?”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been in love.” He said it so simply that Sakura wasn’t sure she believed him. Sure, she was alone and fairly bitter these days, but there were times when Sakura had loved with her whole heart. Those were some of her happiest memories.

Blinking, Sakura realized something she had overlooked before. That was why he read. He didn’t read thrillers, or nonfiction, or anything other than those Icha Icha books. Since she had met him, his attention had always been on those same pages. He didn’t read them for the happy endings. He read them because they were the only way he knew to experience romantic love without being hurt.

“You don’t have to look so sad about it.” His fake smile was back. “It’s not something I want.”

“Liar.” She hadn’t meant to say it out loud. He blinked as if he wasn’t sure he had heard correctly. “I see through you, Kakashi Hatake. There’s a hopeless romantic in there.”

There was a pause followed by an amused smile. “You used to be a hopeless romantic. What happened to that?”

“Is that your question?”

“No.” Shifting so that he was facing the armchair, his eyes grew tight. “What happened with you and Sasuke?”

She should have seen that coming. As far as Sakura’s friends went, only Ino had been brave enough to ask. Naruto, she was sure, already knew. Everyone else avoided the question at all costs. Shifting to pull her legs up, Sakura winced when one of her thighs stuck to the leather. It was too damn hot.

“Well, Sasuke was always obsessed with two things. Killing Itachi, and reviving his clan. After succeeding in his first goal, he set all his focus on the second. When we found out that it was impossible, he shut me out. Enough was enough I suppose.”

There was a controlled anger in Kakashi’s heavy gaze that she rarely had the chance to see anymore. “So, when he found out you couldn’t produce another generation of Uchiha’s, he just left?”

“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “That’s the ironic part. The problem wasn’t with me.” She watched as her words doused the flames in his eyes, leaving nothing but confusion in their wake. “Sasuke won’t be able to revive his clan with anyone. I suppose I should have felt sympathy for him, and I guess I did at the time. But it somehow turned into an argument. That happened a lot towards the end. It began to feel like he only wanted me for that purpose. When he left last year with only a note… I’d had enough.”

Kakashi didn’t say anything. He looked as if he wanted to, but couldn’t form the words. Finally, he settled. “I’m sorry.” She smiled. Kakashi was always at his sweetest when he didn’t try. “Do you still love him?”

“That’s two questions. You owe me one.” Her fingers tapped out a broken rhythm against the arm of the chair. “If I’m being honest… I’m not sure I ever really did.” He didn’t seem shocked by the news. “I had loved him for so long without even knowing him. Love isn’t a stationary thing. It grows with time and caring. The love I had for Sasuke when he came back was the same stunted puppy love I had felt at thirteen. I think I knew that before we even got married. I guess I had hoped that we could grow together after that. The problem was that he didn’t really have a starting point. The love had been one-sided when we were children. I don’t want to be behind or ahead if I fall in love. I want to grow _with_ someone.”

“There she is.” Kakashi’s smile was fond and his voice gentle. “I was wondering where that hopeless romantic went. She’s been gone a while.” Sakura hoped she wasn’t blushing. The way he looked at her then… It was far too soft. Her stomach did that weird drop-thing again. “So much for no happy endings, huh?”

“I stick by that.” His eyebrows rose in doubt. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the middle.” His skeptical look was enough to make her want to take him down a notch. “My turn. Remember, you owe me.” He never agreed to it, but nodded nonetheless. “Why don’t you like it when I call you sensei?”

His jaw tightened under his mask, but his eyes didn’t change. She wondered if he would lie to her. She wondered if she _wanted_ him to. They had been dancing around the lines of their friendship for quite some time. She wasn’t even sure which side they were on anymore.

“Because,” Kakashi began in the serious tone he rarely used with her anymore. “You’re not a child anymore, Sakura.” _There it was_. He chose the practical solution. The one that would keep them doing this dance. “And every time you call me Sensei, I remember what you looked like naked. It makes me wonder what it would be like to have you call me that in the throes of passion.” 

“O-oh.” It was the only sound Sakura could force out through her slightly-parted lips. Her glazed eyes tried to focus on anything other than the desire she saw in his. As heat pooled between her legs, Sakura forced herself to blink. “That’s a- a good answer.”

He hummed in agreement, his nose already buried back in his book despite the smile under his mask. 

“Haruno!” Ibiki barked her name as he passed the locker she’d been shoving her civilian clothes into. “My office.”

A few lockers down, Genma’s brows raised. “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing!” Sakura whispered as she watched the man’s retreating back.

“It’s been nice working with you, sweetheart. I’ll speak fondly of you. _‘She had a heart of gold and an ass you could bounce a ryo off of’_.” She shook her head, but couldn’t stop her smile.

“I suppose worse things have been said about my ass.” Sakura tossed back as she headed for Ibiki’s office. “Don’t forget to mention my killer right hook!”

“I had a whole monologue prepared about your talented hands!” Genma’s voice was so loud that Ibiki gave her a questioning look as it followed behind her.

“He’s not well.” She coughed into her fist. The office door was halfway closed when a familiar hand caught it.

“Yo.” Kakashi greeted in a bored tone, purposefully ignoring her confused look.

“Hatake, you’re on time… why?” Ibiki eyed the man suspiciously.

Shrugging, Kakashi fell into one of the chairs. “Thought we were supposed to meet an hour ago.”

“Of course.” With a mildly unamused look, Ibiki nodded to the other chair. “Take a seat, Haruno.”

Suspicious, Sakura lowered herself into the empty chair, wracking her brain for a reason she would be called in without her team. She hadn’t stepped out of line, and she had taken her required vacation time. As far as she knew, it was back to business as usual.

“Hatake was given a mission recently that had a position open for a second. He requested you.” She looked to Kakashi for conformation but got nothing. “I wanted to check with you before continuing with the paperwork. I know your specialization is in medical ninjutsu, but this would require you to take on an offensive role.”

It was surprising to hear. Kakashi could have chosen from a number of agents, some with a lifetime of experience and a specialty in offense. Sakura knew that she could trust Kakashi with her life, but it had been a long time since she had been in the field without Shika and Gemna. Given the missions Kakashi usually took on, it probably wouldn’t be easy either.

“I suppose that would depend on the mission, sir.”

“I told you that she wouldn’t blindly agree. Not even for me.” Kakashi’s voice had that taunting edge of ‘I told you so’ she had heard during the early days of their training. Granted, it was usually aimed at Naruto.

“That’s classified. I can’t tell you everything unless you agree to sign on. What I _can_ tell you is that it’ll be quick, messy, and will leave your bank account in better shape than when you started.”

She hummed with a sarcastic smile. “Just like my marriage.” Beside her, Kakashi snorted into his book. Even Ibiki’s lips twitched at the corners. With a deep sigh, Sakura looked to Kakashi. “Do you think it’s something I’ll be able to handle on a level that would be considered efficient?”

With a crinkle-eyed smile Kakashi finally looked up from his book. “You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“Okay.” Sakura nodded to Ibiki. “Tell me how I’m risking my life this week.”

“I hate you.” Sakura panted as she doubled over, her hands on her knees as she gasped for air. “I fucking hate you. If I die here, I’m going to take you with me.”

“Nobody likes a drama queen, Sakura.” Kakashi hummed as an explosion on the other side of the compound sent gravel and debris shooting past the bunker they used for cover.

“You had so many agents to pick from. Why me? Why the medic?” She growled out as she ducked down to hide a paper tag under the gravel at their feet as a second line of defense.

“I don’t trust anyone else as much with my life.” Her head snapped up. Of course, she couldn’t see his face behind the mask he wore, but that didn’t stop the way Kakashi’s words made her feel. “Get ready.” Berating herself for getting distracted, Sakura turned back to the side they had just came from.

“Stand back,” she cautioned. They only had one shot at this, so they had to get it right. Focusing on the approaching chakra signals, Sakura began to gather chakra in her leg. Lifting her foot, she brought it down with earth-shattering force. The hole that opened and spread outward was enough to swallow up their enemies, but it also gave away their location.

One had used the tremors as a distraction to hurl a handful of senbon their way. Several nicked Sakura, with one catching its mark and sinking into the side of her hip. Kakashi managed to grab her and flicker away before the second set landed. With a pained hiss, Sakura reached down an pulled the senbon out. A quick check of her body told her that there was thankfully no poison.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. I can heal it as we move.”

_Kill a warlord_. He had said. _Shouldn’t be too much trouble._ He assured. _Just a few bodyguards._ He was a dirty liar. “We’re almost done.” Kakashi assured, grabbing her around the waist and flickering again.

“You’re bleeding.” Sakura realized when they came to a stop again. She lifted her hand to heal his head, but he grabbed it before she could.

“It’s not as bad as it looks. Save your chakra.” Right. She wasn’t here as a medic. “One more bunker to go. Cover me.”

And because Kakashi was a dirty liar, there were five more bunkers.


	6. Five

** Chapter Five **

There was nothing quite so dark as piling up a hundred or so bodies just to watch them burn. The greatest misconception among civilians was that shinobi liked to kill. Even when they fought people that would have just as easily slit their throat, there was no joy. Not for the legitimate ones. It was easy to forget in the heat of battle. It was easy to see nothing but the rage in your enemy’s face. When you handled the corpses of the fallen, it became clear again. They were people. They had families and goals. They made choices, even if not all of them were correct. They fought for a belief they held, same as Sakura. It was easy to see them as a villain when you only looked at things from your own narrative. But when the story ended there were no wins or losses. There were just corpses.

Despite the hundreds of tiny cuts that covered both Sakura and Kakashi’s bodies, she didn’t stop to heal them. Even as they entered her home, it didn’t occur to her. There was a numbness that hung in the air. This one wasn’t born out of feeling too much, but of feeling _too little_. Sometimes, shutting her emotions off was the only way she got through a mission. They’d tell themselves it was for the greater good. They’d drink their _Red Label_ and make half-assed jokes. Eventually, the numbness would fade.

They didn’t exchange a word as they dropped their masks on her kitchen table, their packs falling to their feet. It said something that he had nearly just as many changes of clothes at her place that she did at his. Because it seemed like every time they saw each other, one of them was beaten and bruised. She could hear Sai moving around in her guest room, but he didn’t come out to greet her. He knew what returning home was like.

Her room was dark, but she didn’t bother turning on the light. There was something about these moods that called for darkness. Even though the plan had been to change out of the clothes that reeked of death, Sakura found herself just standing in the middle of the room. It happened from time to time; the icy numbness. It was an ache that would make her entire body freeze. It was like a chill that settled in her bones. Sakura blinked through the haze of it only to find Kakashi watching her with a similar expression. His mask was torn and hanging around his neck, so she was able to fully appreciate the blankness of it.

For a long moment, they simply stared at each other. It was hard to say who moved first in the heavy benumbed aura of it all, but suddenly his hands were on her. His lips and tongue moved against her mouth in quiet desperation – the same she felt in the hollow of her chest. His fingers, long and calloused ripped at her torn shirt until it fell around their feet. They were rough against her skin, causing goosebumps to rise along her stomach and travel down her arms. Even as his hot, open mouth moved to torture the taunt skin of her neck, she needed more. More of his touch - more of his body. More _Kakashi._ Sakura followed his lead, finding the tear that had split his attached mask, and pulling until the loud ripping of fabric filled her ears.

His hands left her just long enough to discard the shirt with her own. When they returned, it was with bruising force at her sides. She reveled in the pain. _Not numb_. Not with him. His fingers dug deeper into her hips as he lifted her, pressing her back against the wall. As her legs wrapped around his narrow waist, Sakura vaguely wondered when he had backed her up. It didn’t matter because his mouth was on her collarbone now, the flat of his hot tongue lapping against a fresh cut. It stung in a way that made Sakura pinch her eyes closed. _Not numb_. She didn’t realize her hands were in his hair until she was pulling, yanking at the roots. It was so soft. So familiar. 

Kakashi’s grunt of approval spurred her to press downward against his obvious hardness, both of their bodies shivering in pleasure. She didn’t see the kunai in his hands until he was cutting away at her binding, tossing it as soon as her chest was freed. It lodged itself deeply in her wall, but Sakura couldn’t bring herself to care. _Not numb_. Not when his wicked mouth was on her sensitive breasts. She arched, her hips rocking in a steady, if not shaky rhythm. Tugging on his hair hard enough to pull his head back, Sakura caught those wonderful lips with her own.

“Bed.” She groaned. As much as Sakura would have like him to take her right up against the wall, her pants would be harder to get off in this position.

Kakashi sucked at her neck as his hands kneaded the tender flesh of her ass through her clothes. Without looking, he turned them towards the bed. A small cry of loss was forced from her throat when he dropped her on the mattress, his lips pulling from her heated flesh. She saw it then – the flicker of doubt in his eyes as he stared down at her. They were both half naked and panting; both desperate to finish what they had started. But Kakashi would always be the man that wanted to protect those he cared about.

“Sakura.” The deep huskiness of his voice was nearly enough to finish her off.

“No.” She refused to let him finish. Moving to her knees, Sakura’s lips trailed across Kakashi’s wide chest. “Regret later.” She demanded as she palmed him through his pants. There was a noise of encouragement, but he remained apprehensive. Her tongue moved over his sweaty collarbone as one of his hands tangled in the hair at the back of her head.

When her lips made it to the underside of his jaw, Sakura pressed her bare chest against his. “Don’t think. Just fuck me, Sensei.”

Sakura felt the growl ripple through his chest as he caught the back of her thighs. With one sure tug, she was sprawled out across her bed again. This time, his hands practically flew to the button of her pants. When he found a second underneath, he must have lost patience, because he pulled until it popped off. The projectile landed somewhere across the room with a loud crack that sounded suspiciously like glass. When they were open wide enough, Sakura lifted her hips, helping Kakashi rid her of the last of her clothing.

By the time her ruined pants hit the floor, his were already undone and sliding over his muscular thighs. Sakura nearly groaned at the hot weight of Kakashi’s body as he settled between her thighs. _Not numb._ His kisses were rougher now, the stubble on his cheeks irritating her skin. But it was okay, because it was something. It was _everything._ As his teeth found her earlobe, Kakashi entered her without so much as a warning. Gasping into the pleasure and pain, Sakura arched. Her nails bit into the marred flesh of his back, catching on old scars and new wounds. He hissed into her ear as his hips jerked roughly. The mild pain gave way to pleasure when long legs wrapped around his hips again, angling up with every thrust.

_Most definitely not numb_. This was more than feeling. It was _living_. For the first time in years, Sakura felt alive. Deciding she wanted to fly higher, Sakura channeled her chakra and flipped them as he thrusted forward. They didn’t miss a beat. They’d worked together for years now, and that often included playing off of each other’s improvisations. Sakura had never quite expected it to translate to the bedroom.

Eyes closed in the ever-growing _pleasure_ of it all, Sakura thrust downward, her hips curling forward before lifting and repeating the action. Quickly picking up her pattern, Kakashi’s hips moved in tandem with her own. Once they fell into a rhythm, he pushed up from the mattress, those beautifully swollen lips latching onto a sensitive nipple. Sakura yanked at his hair again, for lack of anywhere else to put her hands. _Not numb. Living._ Her breath came in gasps so shallow, Sakura wondered if she’d pass out. It’d be worth it.

“Close. So - Kakashi – don’t stop…” She moaned in pleasure, whimpering as his hands gripped her bruised hips, forcing her down harder each time they met.

“Do it.” His voice was that husky growl again, deeper still as his mouth latched onto the skin under her ear. “Give into it, Sakura. I want to see you come.”

Her cry was soft, but certainly not quiet as her tightly-wound body gave into his command. Tears prickled her eyes from the force of it, her nails biting into the back of his scalp. The low groan that announced his own release echoed through her as his strong hands held her pressed to him. The aftershocks of such intense pleasure rippled through her body as his nose skimmed the column of her neck.

Finally, the bruising force of his fingers lightened along with the release of his hair. With deep, shaky breaths, Sakura forced herself to open her eyes. _Big mistake_. Kakashi was… well, _beautiful_. His features were soft and tired, his lips bruised and full. His eyes… she was sure she had never seen them so unguarded. Even the state of his crazy hair made another flash of desire rip through her.

He was panting too, his thumbs rubbing soft, apologetic circles over her darkening hipbones. Despite the release of tension, she could see the doubt beginning to cloud his gaze. “Don’t…” She breathed. Her small hands cupped his jaw before her lips grazed his. “Beat yourself up in the morning. We need sleep.”

With a short, silent laugh, Kakashi’s head fell to her collarbone. She was still on his lap, and he was still inside of her, but it seemed that neither of them were quite ready to move. “Okay.”

Sakura was a mess. Her hair was still dirty, her wounds unhealed. Her arms still had smudges of dirt, and it lay caked under her nails. It wasn’t just her either. Two sets of torn and shredded clothes peppered her once-clean floor like a trail of G-Rated breadcrumbs. Beside her bed, a kunai sat embedded in her wall up to the hilt, narrowly missing her favorite lamp. And if Sakura narrowed her eyes, she could just make out a crack in the glass of her window where her forsaken button had landed. She smiled. It had been… something else. Sakura tried to think back to all of her previous sexual encounters. Granted, most were with Sasuke, but it didn’t matter. She had never had such raw _want_ for someone else. It was possible – Sakura conceded inwardly – that a majority of the emotion had been driven by their shared sadness and desperation for escape. Even if it had been, she wasn’t going to pretend that she hadn’t enjoyed herself.

Sakura had half expected him to be gone by the time she woke. She had prepared herself for the possibility of pretending the whole thing hadn’t happened. But yet again, Kakashi found a way to surprise her. He laid behind her, his body tucked snuggly around her own. His heavy arm kept her pinned against his chest, and his nose was pressed into the back of her neck. With each steady exhale, Kakashi sent a burst of warm breath across her skin. Sakura knew better, of course. He was wide awake. She had been on enough missions with Kakashi to know that he snored. But if he wanted to pretend to be asleep, she was happy to play along.

Maybe he was waiting for her to move – she thought with a small smile. Waiting for her to get out of bed so he could slip off. Well, she wasn’t going to make it that easy for him. With a deep sigh, Sakura stretched a bit before snuggling back down, her butt wiggling against him. She bit her lip when his breathing faltered. _Men._

“You’re a cruel woman.” His spoke hoarsely into the skin of her back. “I’m surprised you haven’t been moved to torture and interrogation.”

Sakura’s smile stretched for real this time. “You’re the one pretending to be asleep.” Rolling to her back, Sakura rose a thin pink brow. “If you want to leave, Kakashi, I’m not going to chase after you.” A dark, scarred eye opened. “Seriously. I’m not going to be weird about it. You might want to put clothes on first, though.”

With a short huff, Kakashi pushed himself onto his elbow so he could look down at her. “I guess we should talk.”

“I don’t think that’s strictly necessary.” Stretching her back this time, Sakura sighed when it popped. No matter how many missions she went on, there were certain muscles that only sex could workout. “It happened, and it was great. What’s there to talk about?”

His half-lidded gazed skimmed her chest as the sheet slipped away with the movement before finding her face again. “So you want to pretend it never happened?”

She almost laughed at the way Kakashi eyed her – like he was walking into a trap. “Oh, no. In fact, I’d very much like that to happen again. I could do without the cuts and dirt, but the rest was great. We can leave it at that.”

This seemed to feed his skepticism. “We’ve been friends for a long time, Sakura. I was your sensei. This isn’t really a great basis for a casual physical relationship. If it gets messy, we have a lot more to lose than great sex.”

She preened under his unintentional praise. “So you admit that I was great?” At his unamused look, Sakura rolled her eyes. “Look.” She began with a huff. “I had fun last night. I enjoy when we spend time together _without_ the sex. But I think if we keep having this conversation it’s just going to needlessly frustrate us both,” she shrugged. He opened his mouth to reply, so she cut him off. “I know you, Kakashi. Relationships, feelings – they’re not your thing. I get that. I think we should just enjoy ourselves and not try to put a label on it. If down the line that changes, we can have the ‘something more’ talk. But as it stands right now, I don’t want to deny myself a good time on the off chance that we’ll have to have that conversation.”

He hummed, his eyes sparking with mischief. “Well, you make a very compelling argument.” His knuckles moved over her ribs, grazing the underside of her breast. “And it _was_ good sex.”

Goosebumps spread across Sakura’s skin, but she didn’t acknowledge his wandering hand. “Great. You called it _great_ sex. And really, it would be an insult to sex if we stopped now.”

Kakashi’s hand slid around her small waist as he rolled to cover her body with his own. “You always were the smartest of my students.” His genuine compliment nearly made Sakura burst with pride. Kakashi wasn’t one to just hand them out, and it was rare to get them when you were teamed with Naruto and Sasuke. She didn’t realize she was smiling until he kissed it away.

Sakura’s hands made it to Kakashi’s smooth chest when she felt the chakra flare. She only had time to groan before Shikamaru was landing in her room through the open window. “Sakura-“ His voice faltered. “Uh… Kakashi.” He greeted, his tone unsure.

Kakashi simply smiled as Sakura pushed up to glance over his shoulder. Thankfully, the sheet covered everything Kakashi’s body didn’t. Shikamaru still stood by the window, staring at the bed as if he was trying to solve a particularly hard puzzle. 

“Not a word to Genma. I’ll never hear the end of it.” She threatened.

Kakashi turned his head towards his other shoulder, his chin tucked in so that only his eyes could be seen from that angle. “Good morning, Shikamaru. I heard that you stopped smoking. Congratulations. It’s a hard habit to kick.” Sakura’s jaw tightened at his casual tone. “Did you need something? We’re a little busy at the moment.”

Shika blinked, unease coloring his face. “Uh… yeah. Ibiki wants all ANBU at HQ within the hour. Is Sai still here?”

“I’m not sure. Sai!?” Kakashi called for the younger man loudly.

“Are you being serious right now?” Sakura frowned, her eyes narrowing at the man that still covered her body with his own, an easy smile in place.

“This is for that little stretch of yours.” He whispered with a wink.

“Was I called?” Her door opened without so much as a knock. “Ah. Hello Shikamaru, Kakashi.” Sai smiled, unbothered by the state of things. “Sakura, I ate the last of your yogurt. I hope you don’t mind. I was going to ask you first, but your loud cries at four this morning indicated that you were being sexually pleased. I find that women often like to sleep in after such nights. I once read this book on the mating habits of bono-“

“Sai!” Sakura cut him off as Kakashi shook with silent laughter. “It’s fine. I’ll buy more yogurt.”

“Sai.” Shikamaru completely turned his body from them. “All ANBU are being called in.”

Sai’s frown was enough to make Sakura forget the situation. Wrapping an arm around Kakashi’s shoulder, she pulled herself up a bit further. “What is it Sai?”

“It’s just…” He shook his head. “The last time everyone was called at once was when the third Hokage was murdered.”

The silence in the room was practically palpable. Sakura had been so annoyed that she hadn’t stopped to think _why_ they were being called in. “Alright.” She huffed with a frown. “Anyone not naked, please leave the room.”


	7. Six

** Chapter Six **

Even through the sea of white masks, it was easy for Sakura to find where Genma and Shikamaru stood. It came with the territory of working together in the field. She stopped between them, listening to the quiet murmur of people guessing what could have possibly happened to have Ibiki call the entire ANBU force. The general consensus seemed to be a retirement announcement. Some were already planning the party they would have in secret.

“Good morning, Sakura.” It was a simple statement, but Genma’s tone was _too_ cheery. Pivoting to face Shika, she glared at the underside of his chin as he avoided her gaze by staring at the stone ceiling.

“You told him!? What did I say? One rule, Shika! Just one!” Genma’s laugh was instant, as was Shikamaru’s shrug.

“I had no idea you had a thing for authority figures, sweetheart. You know I’m your _captain,_ right? I could give you all sorts of orders.” He was ignored.

“Consider it payback for being so troublesome all the time. You’re always pushing into my personal life.”

“Oh?” Because he couldn’t see her face, Sakura made a show of placing her fists on her hips. “Hey, Genma! Wanna know who Shika’s secret girlfriend is?”

“That’s too far, woman!” Shikamaru cut her off. “You screwing your sensei isn’t the same thing, and you know it.”

“I love it when mom and dad fight.” Genma’s smile could practically be _heard_. “Does this mean I get two Christmases?”

“It is _too_ the same thing! And Kakashi hasn’t been my sensei in over a decade!” They ignored Genma again. It wouldn’t do to encourage him. “Why should you be able to tell him who I’m sleeping with, but if _I_ do it, it’s crossing the line? I’m sure Genma would _love_ to know who _you’re_ bedding.”

“Absolutely.” The monkey mask bobbed. “But I’m not calling her mom. You can’t make me.”

“Alright!” Ibiki’s stern voice cut through the chatter. “Shut up! This isn’t a mixer!” The quiet rippled over the crowd. “I’m sure most of you will be disappointed to learn that this _isn’t_ my retirement announcement.” The shuffling of feet from a few agents almost sounded sad. “The Hokage has gone missing.”

“What?”

“How is that possible?”

“Why are we just hearing about this?”

“Are you sure?” Genma called over the others in the crowd. “Did you check all of his usual locations? The Hokage tower? The bathroom of the Hokage tower? The alley behind the Hokage tower?”

“Shut it, Shiranui!” Ibiki barked. “We have no reason to suspect foul play, but his family can’t get in touch with him. I want a headset in every ear, and eyes everywhere. The more experienced members will take the perimeter outside of the village, rookies to the streets. If you’re unsure which category you fit into, you probably belong in the village.” He crossed his arms over his chest. Hatake, Haruno, and… Sai. See me.”

Sakura waved quickly to Genma and Shika as she cut through the retreating crowd. Only when the room was empty except for the four of them did Ibiki speak. “You three probably know Lord Hokage better than any other agents. Do you have any idea where he would be?”

“Teasing aside, Genma was right.” Kakashi’s hands pressed deeply in his pockets. “Naruto hardly ever leaves the tower.”

“And when he does, he’s usually with Hinata.”

“I’m getting too old for this.” Ibiki rubbed his head through the bandana. “Split up and check anywhere you think he might be. I’m going to talk to the family.”

“Perhaps he went to Hokage Rock.” Sai reasoned. “I’ve seen him up there a few times over the years.”

“You should check there.” Sakura nodded. “Kakashi and I could split up and check the training fields.”

“You take one through four and I’ll get five through eight.”

With a plan in place, the three split up. Training fields one and two were empty. The third held a group of Genin that froze at the sight of her. Sakura almost forgot that very few people actually got a chance to see an ANBU member in person. To a lot of lower-ranked shinobi, they were practically mythical.

“You’re ANBU, right?” One of them asked.

Sakura nodded once as a familiar Jōnin jogged towards them. “Is everything alright?”

“Konohamaru.” His eyes flickered with awareness at the sound of her voice. Most Jōnin had some idea who the ANBU agents were, but weren’t allowed to ask.

“Alright, you three. I want you to run formation three.” His eyes didn’t leave her.

The students grumbled as they stalked off, one of them casting a look over his shoulder every few steps. “Have you seen Naruto?”

“No. Not since yesterday when I dropped off a mission report.” His brow puckered. “Is everything okay, Sakura? Do I need to get my students to a safe location?”

She glanced at the three children throwing shuriken. “As of right now, everything is fine. If that changes, I’ll come inform you myself.”

_“No sign of King Toad in the square.”_

_“I’ve got nothing along the southern perimeter. Doesn’t look like anyone’s traveled this way in a while.”_

_“Favorite food establishments haven’t seen him today.”_

_“Hokage Rock is clear as well.”_

_“Just spoke with Queen Toad. Baby Toad Alpha has been missing for the last hour.”_

Sakura held up a finger to Konohamaru as she pressed a finger to the headset.

“How long has KT been MIA?”

_“Forty-five minutes since reported. Before that is anyone’s guess.”_

_“Safe to assume they’re together then.”_

_“No sightings at training grounds eight, seven, or six.”_

“One through three show no signs either. En route to four.”

She tuned out the additional chatter and turned back to Konohamaru who only looked more worried than he had before. “If you see him, let him know that I’m looking for him?”

“Sure thing.” He nodded with a frown. “Keep me informed otherwise.”

With a quick nod, Sakura channeled her chakra into her feet and pushed off. Landing in a tree, she ran quickly towards training field four. The longer they took to locate Naruto, the more worried people would get. They could only ask so many civilians before the whispers started. Jumping from branch to branch, Sakura changed direction when the sound of voices caught her attention.

The closer she got, the more she relaxed. Sakura would know that annoying voice anywhere. “No, you have to _focus_. It’s not about power, it’s about precision!”

“I tried!” Boruto groaned as his father held up his hand.

With a heavy sigh, Sakura dropped onto the grass. So, Naruto has snuck off to spend quality training time with his son. She couldn’t help but smile. That was good. “Dad… there’s an ANBU…”

“King Toad and Baby Toad Alpha located. Negative on foul play. No medical attention required. All clear.”

 _“Rodger.”_ Ibiki almost sounded relieved. _“Bring them to home base A asap. Everyone else is to report to home base C for debriefing. I don’t want any stragglers. That means you, Hatake!”_

“Wait a minute!” Boruto screamed, pointing an accusatory finger at her. “Am I Baby Toad Alpha? That’s a _terrible_ code name! Why couldn’t I get something cool!?”

Naruto straightened as she approached. “What was all that about? Is everything okay, Sakura?”

“Aunt Sakura?” Boruto’s eyes grew wide as Sakura hung her head.

Removing the porcelain bunny mask, she frowned at Naruto’s guilty expression. “It’s amazing we trust you with anything.”

“Cool!” Boruto smiled widely. “You never told me Aunt Sakura was ANBU!”

“That’s because it’s supposed to be a secret.” She scoffed as if she hadn’t given herself away to Konohamaru ten minutes prior. “Where have you been, Naruto? The entire ANBU regime has been out looking for you! You can’t just slip away without telling anyone. You’re the Hokage for Kami’s sake!”

With a guilty smile, Naruto scratched the back of his head. “Sorry, Sakura. I guess I didn’t think anyone would notice.”

Slipping the mask back into place, Sakura sighed. “Let’s go. I have to get you back to the Hokage tower. And be warned, Hinata isn’t happy.”

“Mom’s gonna kill you…”

_Focus. Focus. Not there… Good, next one._ Sakura flinched at the sound of an explosion in the distance. Fifteen hundred meters and closing in fast. The glow of her hands intensified as their enemies breathed down her neck. Her palms burned with the heavy stream of chakra she used, but she didn’t care. She could do this. She _would_ do this. The hole in Genma’s chest was already half the size it had been.

“Shika, go into my medpak. First pouch under the soldier pills. Blood replenishment.” The tiny tablets wouldn’t be enough to save him, but they might give her some time.

Chakra signals. One thousand meters. “You have to leave me, sweetheart. We all know it.” Genma’s voice was strained. She didn’t want to look at his face. All she would see was unfocused eyes and a fake smile. Eight hundred meters.

“I’m not leaving you.” She spoke it like the fact it was. “If I leave you, you’ll die.”

“If you don’t leave me, we’ll _all_ die.” He coughed and she could see his organs jostle under her hands. “That scroll is a war plan. It’s the most important document we’ve ever carried.”

Finally finding the pills, Shikamaru shoved one into Genma’s mouth. “I’m not leaving you.” She said again, her throat tighter this time. “Shika. Take it. Take the scroll.”

Sakura felt him freeze beside her, but didn’t dare look away from her careful work. He didn’t need to be perfect. He just needed to be good enough for transport. “No.” Shikamaru’s voice was a whisper. “If I leave, you’ll both die. Genma is already half dead, and you can’t fight when your hands are busy keeping him alive.

“But the mission-“

Shikamaru was the one to cut him off. “With all due respect, Captain, _fuck_ the mission.” She was so close now. Five hundred meters. “I won’t abandon my comrades.”

Genma’s head fell heavily to the ground, a tired smile on his lips. “I love you guys, you know.” The sincerity of his tone made Sakura’s eyes water.

“Got it! He’ll hold until we get to the village.”

She took one arm while Shikamaru took the other. With two hundred meters between them and the enemy, they headed for home.

“- completely idiotic! I wouldn’t even expect this kind of behavior from rookies!” Ibiki screamed. He hadn’t even bother to bring Sakura into his office to yell at her. Instead, he had one of the other agents heal her shattered shin in the middle of the common area. Dozens of uncertain eyes darted uncomfortably between them. “What the _fuck_ were you thinking Haruno!? Your behavior almost cost us the mission objective! Do you realize you would have been responsible for a war if that happened!?”

Her eyes fell to Kakashi as he entered behind Ibiki. When he caught her gaze, she looked away. “Both of your teammates are in critical condition!” Her jaw worked as the pressure in her eyes built. She would not cry. Not here, and not in front of him. “In trying to save one life, you might have cost us two! There is never a reason for a medic to be the last one standing after a mission! You got the scroll, but only barely! Regardless of the mission status, you failed as a shinobi!” Uncomfortable shuffling was all that was heard as she stood on her newly healed leg. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Sakura’s eyes caught Kakashi’s again, that deep pucker between his brows. Praying that her voice wouldn’t fail her, Sakura squared her shoulders as she looked at an infuriated Ibiki for the first time. “I stand by my actions.”

Her gaze didn’t waver, but his nostrils flared “I want you out of my sight, Haruno!”

He had already turned when she spoke again. “We’re trained for it.” She called, halting his movements. “Since the academy, we’re trained to value teamwork and comrades above all else. We’re put in squads of three and are told that these people are our teammates. We eat with them, we get to know them, we’re taught that they are our lifeline. Our squads are our _families_. In fact, we can’t even graduate from the academy without believing that.” Ibiki turned back to her slowly. The rage was still there – hot and piercing. “I risked the mission. That’s true. I made a tough call in an impossible situation. I put the mission, my life, and Shikamaru’s life on the line because I believed that I had the ability to save Genma before the hostiles could get to us… At least, I believed that his life was worth the attempt. It kills me that they’re both hurt and I’m to blame. But if we had left him behind, he’d be dead right now – or worse…” Her eyes flickered to Kakashi’s as he watched her with the same surprised silence everyone else seemed to. _No one_ spoke to Ibiki like this. “In the ninja world, those that break the rules are scum… but those that abandon their friends are _worse_ than scum.” She might have been imagining the pride rolling off of her old Sensei.

When Ibiki spoke again, it wasn’t a scream, but a deathly calm. “You’re on suspension, Haruno. You and your whole unit – _if_ they survive. Making calls like that in the field isn’t what you were trained to do. You’re the medic, not the captain. Your actions went against mission orders, therefor could be considered treason against the Village Hidden in the Leaves.”

“Now hold on a minute-“ Kakashi tried to speak but Ibiki held up a hand to stop him.

“Your fate will be decided by the disciplinary board. You’ll be contacted for your hearing.”


	8. Seven

**Chapter Seven**

Sakura watched the monitor beep steadily above Genma’s bed. He was pale and still, his usually playful expressions wiped away by the injury that had almost cost him his life. Without his senbon or bandana, he hardly looked like Genma at all. Beside his bed sat at least ten bottles of _Red Label_. The nurses that didn’t work with ANBU tisked at the idea of bringing a patient alcohol, but those that did simply gave the sight a sad smile.

She hated seeing him like this. This wasn’t Genma. He was more than just a body lying in a bed. He was funny, and kind, and an amazing friend. He was a hopeless flirt, but he never really meant any of it. Whenever things got dark, he’d be the first person to lighten the mood. Even when they were kept as prisoners, he had enough in him to get Sakura to smile… and this was all her fault.

“Sakura?” The pink-haired kunoichi blinked slowly. How long had she been sitting here? The nurse that spoke stepped closer. “We’re about to bathe him. Did you want to help?”

It hurt that there was no sarcastic reply from the man in the bed. “No, that’s okay.” She stood with a deep sigh. “I have another one to visit anyway.” The pitying look was something she could do without. “Call me if there are any changes?”

“Of course.”

Shikamaru’s room was just down the hall from Genma’s, which gave Sakura no time to shake one sadness before walking into another. She tried not to disturb Ino as she entered, knowing the woman only got sleep when she dozed off on the edge of the hospital bed. Avoiding Ino was impossible, but talking to her was nearly just as hard. She knew that Shika was ANBU, but that was all she knew. Sakura couldn’t tell her that they had been teammates for over a year. She couldn’t tell her that he was in this hospital bed because of _her_. Worst of all, she couldn’t tell her that she was sorry.

Half asleep, Ino gave Sakura a trying smile. “Back again?” She teased. “You two weren’t having an affair, were you?”

Sakura tried to smile for her sake. “You know I like to personally see to my friends.” It was a half-truth. The top half of Shika’s head was covered in thick white bandages. The bleeding had been stopped fairly quickly, but the swelling was worrisome.

“I hate it, you know?” Ino breathed as she clutched his hand. “I don’t even know what happened. No one will tell me, of course.” _He got hit in the head with the broad side of an enormous sword_ \- Sakura wanted to say. But like all others, she was sworn to secrecy. “I always told him to stop thinking so much. That someone ought to knock some sense into him.” A watery laugh. “Leave it to Shikamaru to take it literally.”

“The swelling is going down.” _But not enough._ “It might not look like it, but he’s on the mend.” _Slower than we would like._

“Sakura, be honest with me. I know with these kinds of injuries there can be permanent damage. Is that going to happen to him?”

 _Very likely unless something changes._ “It’s hard to tell. Everyone is different. But it’s Shikamaru. Either way, he’ll be ten times smarter than the rest of us.”

Another watery smile. “Thanks, forehead.”

He was already at her place when she got home. After Ibiki chewed Sakura out four days prior, Kakashi had cornered her outside of HQ, flickering her to his place without a word. She drank two bottles of _Red Label_ that night, but it was only when he took her over his kitchen table that her mind finally went blank. They woke up the next morning, a mess of limbs sprawled across the old tile. He didn’t push her to speak about it. He knew she wasn’t ready.

“I figured you were at the hospital. Thought I’d wait here.” Kakashi looked at home in her bed, his back propped up against the headboard and his book hanging limply in his hand.

Almost mindlessly, Sakura sat at the end by his feet. “If I ask you something, will you be honest with me?”

“I always try to be.” He sat up fully, book disregarded to the nightstand. 

“If I’m found guilty by the disciplinary board… An ANBU agent with knowledge of the most elite forces and strategies the Leaf has to offer… What will the worst case scenario be when it comes to punishment?” She watched as his eyes hardened before darting away and back again. It was a small movement, but enough. “Ah. I see.”

She would be killed. He reached for her face, even as the realization sunk in. “It won’t happen, Sakura. You would have had to openly defy Konoha’s laws to earn a guilty sentence warranting that kind of action.” His calloused thumbs moved over her cheeks.

“I did though. I risked a mission that could have started a war.” She had no more tears to shed, despite how the want to cry bubbled within her chest. “Genma only got hurt because he was covering my back. If he hadn’t moved, it would have been me.”

His fingers halted. “In doing so, he made sure there was a medic to get the whole team home.”

“But at the cost of-“

“Sakura.” She recognized the tone from her Genin days. It was the same one he used when he wanted them to pay attention because the information was vital. “You did the right thing.” 

Sakura had meant what she said. She would do it again in a heartbeat. She just hoped Genma and Shikamaru would get off easier. The darkness rose in her throat at the thought of taking them down with her. It had been her idea to stay. Sakura didn’t think as she moved, straddling Kakashi’s lap as she pulled his mask down. His lips were sweet and soft – instantly molding against hers as his hands splayed across the small of her back. She wanted to forget – to escape the reality of the mess around her. But however hard Sakura tried, she couldn’t bring herself to.

With a sigh of regret, Sakura brushed her lips against his one more time, her forehead resting against his headband. “Sorry. My head is somewhere else.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Sakura. I didn’t come here to get you into bed. It’s a nice perk, don’t get me wrong, but it’s okay.” She huffed a laugh, leaning back.

“Will you…” She felt silly. After everything they had done, she shouldn’t feel embarrassed asking him to stay with her for the night. “Will you stay?”

“Sure.” His eyes crinkled in the comfortable, familiar way she had always known. Withdrawing her leg, Sakura sat heavily beside him. “I have a mission in the morning. I might not be here when you wake up.” Even with no obligation to tell her, he had. Her own husband couldn’t be bothered to say goodbye the last time he left.

“An ANBU mission?”

“Nothing quite so exciting.” He resumed his position against her headboard. Before grabbing his book, Kakashi tugged on Sakura’s arm until she laid pressed to his side. “It’s an escort mission. Some model is traveling to Iwa and needs a glorified bodyguard.”

Sakura’s head rested on his chest, so he didn’t notice the scowl on her face. She chose to focus on her disappointment, and not the heaviness in her chest that felt suspiciously like jealousy. That was the very last thing Sakura needed at the moment. “So you’ll be gone for my trial…”

The book settled by her head as Kakashi squeezed her once. “No. I convinced the disciplinary board to postpone until Genma and Shikamaru can speak for themselves.”

Frowning, Sakura twisted to catch his eyes. “You- How? How did you manage that?”

Kakashi pouted; unimpressed. “I think you and Naruto forget that I _was_ the Sixth Hokage.”

Sakura blinked. “Actually… I did.” She admitted. He was always just Kakashi to her. “But still.,.”

Kakashi winked, his lips twitching. “You impressed me when you stood up to Ibiki, Sakura. I think when the disciplinary board hears what you have to say they’ll be impressed too.”

She snorted and let her head fall back to his chest. “A bunch of old geezers that haven’t stepped foot into battle since there was only one stone face. I’m sure they’ll be very susceptible to what I have to say.” His chest vibrated with a deep laugh.

“Have some faith in me, Sakura. You’re forgetting who taught you about teamwork.” She was only mildly surprised when he dropped a kiss to the crown of her head. “I never abandon my comrades either.”

Kakashi was indeed gone when Sakura woke the next morning. Even though he had warned her, she found herself a little disappointed. With Kakashi gone and Sai out on a mission, her home felt even emptier than usual. It seemed that Kakashi hadn’t just slipped out, however. On top of the unused pillow that had somehow become his, sat a large scroll.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Sakura reached for it. It might have been childish to expect a prank from someone his age, but as the smiley face bearing his scar stared up at her from the seal, she couldn’t help but worry. There was a chance that if the scroll had not been the size of her forearm, she might be less weary of it. Tentatively, Sakura popped the seal, yelping when a puff of smoke and a bang sent her tumbling backwards.

“I knew it was a trap.” Sakura mumbled in ire as she quite _literally_ clawed her way back onto the bed.

“Wasn’t a trap-“ Pakkun sniffed the air. “Green apple.”

 _Too early_. It was far too early for this shit. The scroll laid partially open in the middle of her bed, a bored looking Pakkun next to it. “What are you doing here, Pakkun?” She eyed the pug much the same way she had the scroll.

“It’s all in there.” His head bobbed once in its direction.

With one more suspicious look, Sakura picked it up.

_Sakura,_

_Sorry about the scroll, but it needed to be this size in order to summon Pakkun without me there. I thought that it would be a good idea to leave him with you in my absence. If anything happens, he can locate me right away. Besides, it’ll give you someone to talk to._

_I’ve made a list of things that you need to do below. And yes, I know I’m not the boss of you. But trust me, okay? Do them in order and only read the one you’re on. Reading ahead is forbidden. I mean it._

_Before we get started on the list: Good morning. I left you a present on the nightstand._

Sakura looked from the scroll, to Pakkun’s unblinking eyes, to the nightstand. She frowned at the familiar square of orange. He left her his Icha Icha? _Why of all things –_

_I know what you’re thinking. I’m not expecting you to read it, though you’re more than welcome to if you’d like. I encourage it, actually. I left it because it was something my father used to do before missions. He would worry about me when he was gone, so he’d leave me his lucky hitai-ate. Because he hated going anywhere without it, he’d be forced to return sooner or later to get it. In a way, it was his promise to come home. I’m not going to be presumptuous and assume that you need that sort of thing, but I know you’ll be beating yourself up without anyone there to stop you. So, I’m leaving you my most prized material possession. It’s a limited edition, first print signed by Jiraiya himself. Consider it a promise to not leave you all alone with your thoughts for too long._

Suddenly, the tiny orange book was her favorite item as well. “Wow…” She breathed as she picked it up and flipped to the back cover where Jiraiya’s signature sat. The book had to be worth a fortune. More than its monetary value, it had to mean the world to Kakashi who’d been obsessed with the books for as long as she could remember. And he left it with her. 

“You okay, Green Apple?”

“I… yeah. It’s just an incredibly sweet gesture.” Returning it carefully, Sakura bit her lip. “Did he explain any of this to you?”

“I’m not supposed to answer any questions yet.” He grunted.

“Of course you’re not.” Because she hadn’t finished the scroll.

_Ready for the list? Remember, no cheating. In fact, I made it impossible. That’s right, I don’t trust you. You can be angry all you like, I know you well enough to know that you’d cheat._

He was completely correct.

_After you finish each task, Pakkun will place his paw on the scroll and the next one will reveal itself._

_Task 1: Give Pakkun a nice scratch behind the ear for being patient enough to wait while you read this far._

With a short laugh, Sakura placed the scroll on the bed and leaned over to do just that. She had planned to go straight to the hospital today, but she’d play along with Kakashi’s game for a while.

“Alright.” Pakkun affirmed when she finished. “Onto the next,” He placed his paw on the scroll. With a small puff of smoke, another line appeared. 

_Task 2: Get up and ready for the day. Pakkun will unlock the third task once you’re dressed. May I suggest that blue dress you wore last weekend? You looked amazing in it._

Sakura bit her lip at the compliment. _Oh no_ … it was happening. She was falling for him. She was _feeling_ … which meant a _talk_. With a groan that had nothing to do with the scroll, Sakura forced her way into the bathroom. She tried not to think about everything that weighed on her as she showered. Feelings for Kakashi aside, she still had to face the council. The one that could very well end her. Quite literally. On top of that, her teammates still laid wounded in the hospital.

By the time Sakura slipped on the dress Kakashi had been referring to, her good mood had vanished. As she approached the bed, Pakkun wordlessly touched his paw to the scroll.

_Task 3: You made yourself sad, didn’t you? You know long showers give you too much time to think. Icha Icha. I’ll be home soon._

Her stomach dropped at the last sentence. _Nope_. She didn’t need that right now.

_Now that you’re dressed, go eat breakfast. Yes, that’s on the list because you’re terrible when it comes to eating before five. You can’t starve yourself all day and then choke down a dinner. You’re a medic, you know this._

_PS: Whatever Pakkun says, he’s not allowed to have table scraps. He’s on a diet._

Sakura managed to finish a bowl of some cereal that Sai must have bought. Much like Kakashi predicted, Pakkun sat at her feet the whole time. For a grumpy old dog, he had the puppy-eyed look down to a tee. With the promise of keeping it between them, Sakura spoiled him with a piece of leftover beef. When he was done licking his lips, Sakura held the scroll out to him.

_Task 4: You have no willpower. How long did it take him to break you? My record is three hours._

_Now here’s the point where you get angry at me. Before that happens, I want you to know that everything I did was for your own good. I knew that if I told you outright, you wouldn’t have taken the time to take care of yourself. For a medic, you’re awfully terrible at maintaining your own health._

His ominous words tightened her chest.

_Genma is awake._


	9. Eight

** Chapter Eight **

Sakura power-walked through the hallways, her body twisting this way and that as she narrowly avoided both patients and medics. Despite his labored breathing, Pakkun had managed to stay on her heels, panting out a defense for Kakashi every few steps. Logically, she understood why he did what he did. Emotionally, she was going to crush his skull with her bare hands. A quick look at the medic charts told Sakura that Genma was still in the same room. So he was awake, but not well enough to be moved just yet.

“Miss Haruno.” A surprised nurse blinked as Sakura nearly ran into her. She was one of the new staff members, but was put on rotation to help Sakura’s boys. “I was wondering when you would arrive.”

“I thought I was supposed to get a phone call when either of them woke up.” When the nurse took a step back, Sakura eased up. It wasn’t this woman’s fault.

“We did call you, Miss. As soon as his vitals were taken. Your husband answered and said you would be in after you got some sleep.” Sakura’s eye twitched.

“Well, thank you for the phone call.” She forced a smile before turning towards the elevator. Catching it just before the doors closed, Sakura pressed the button for intensive care.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that.” She had nearly forgotten Pakkun was with her. “The boss’s scent is all over your place, and last week when he summoned us, I noticed yours at his.”

“That’s not a question.” She mumbled as she watched the lights overhead change with each passing floor.

“Well, are you the boss’s lady now? I’ve been telling him for years that he should settle down, maybe have a few pups. I’ve never smelled a woman’s scent at his place for more than a few days before.”

She didn’t want to have this conversation, and she certainly didn’t want to have it with a pug. “It’s just… casual.”.

The dog’s snort was enough to draw her gaze. “He left me with you. That ain’t casual, Green Apple.”

“He had his reasons.” Sending Pakkun in case of a problem _would_ be a lot quicker than any other form of communication. Kakashi’s logic made sense. “He wanted to stay in contact.”

Another weird snort. “If that was the case, he could have left one of the other guys. I was his first ninken. Even if he likes to pretend he doesn’t play favorites, he does. I lead the pack, and I’m summoned twice as often.” The elevator dinged overhead. “Besides, he’s never left me with anyone before.”

“I am not having this conversation with a dog before I have it with Kakashi.” She declared as she stomped out of the elevator.

Whatever aggravation Sakura had felt left the instant she walked into Genma’s room to find him sitting up surrounded by dozens of empty Jello containers. The tears that sprung to her eyes were instantaneous when he smiled.

“Hey, none of that, sweetheart.” He held out his arms before she even made it to his side. The hug was weaker than she had come to expect from him, but his arms were still strong.

“You’re alive.” She breathed into his shoulder.

“Thanks to you.” Forcing the tears back best she could, Sakura pulled back to look at him.

“The medics here did most of the work.”

He shook his head, exasperation transforming his features. “Nice try, but I got the rundown from one of the rookies. You carried me and Shika into the village with a shattered shin? And _then_ you not only took a verbal lashing from Ibiki, but gave him one back?”

“Yeah, well… That earned me a trip to the disciplinary council.” He seemed unbothered by this.

“Between Shika’s brains, my smooth talking, and your ability to make a man wet himself with just one look, we’ll get this whole thing tossed out. The mission was successful, so they don’t really have a leg to stand on.” Sakura wished she could be half as confident.

“I’m not letting you and Shika be pulled into this. It’s me that they’re angry at, and it _is_ kind of my fault. I plan on asking them to leave the two of you out of it. Seeing as you were unconscious when we reentered the village, I don’t see how they can argue.”

With narrowed eyes, Genma rose a hand to poke the diamond in the center of her forehead. “No.”

Sakura blinked as he turned back to what must have been hist twentieth cup of Jello. “ _No?_ What do you mean, no?”

“It _means_ that when my life was on the line you chose to stay by my side, even knowing that it could mean your own death. When enemies were closing in, you risked everything because we’re _family_.” His uncharacteristically serious tone made Sakura’s heart clench. “Just like you wouldn’t leave me, I won’t leave you. If they want to strip you of your rank, then they’ll have to do the same to me.”

“That-“ her voice caught. “That’s so stupid.” She laughed despite the tears gathering in her eyes as Genma slowly moved over to make room for her. “You’re so stupid.”

He wrapped an arm around her as she buried her face in her hands. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

“What a drag.” Both of their heads jerked to the door in unison. Still wrapped in bandages, Shikamaru leaned on his crutch. “I just got Ino to stop crying.”

“Shika…” She was up before he could take one wobbly step, her arms wrapped tightly around him. 

“Alright, alright…” His tone was fond despite his attempt to sound cross. The hand that didn’t hold the crutch wrapped around her waist, his chin on top of her head. “Stop crying, woman. I’ve got the worst headache.”

“I’ve never had a woman stolen straight from my bed before. I wouldn’t have thought you’d be the one to do it.” Genma teased lightly from behind her.

Pulling away, Sakura wiped the tears from her face. “Oh… that means the trial date will be set now.”

“Speaking of which, I heard what you said.” From under his bandaged, Shikamaru glared. “If you think we’d let you go without us, you’re even dumber than Naruto.”

“Probably best not to insult the Hokage.” Genma tisked as Sakura helped Shikamaru to a chair. “He’ll be leading the council, after all.”

“Really?” Sakura felt her heart skip a beat. Naruto might not like that she was in ANBU, but he wouldn’t have her killed. Reclaiming her seat next to Genma, she took yet another Jello cup from his hands. “Eat some real food.”

“I should find Kakashi.” Pakkun’s voice nearly startled her. For a talking dog, he was surprisingly easy to forget. “I was told to report to him with any updates.”

When Pakkun disappeared in a plume of smoke, Sakura pretended not to notice the looks they gave her. “Do we know who else is on the council? If we know, we might stand a chance of coming up with an argument that will work.”

“The deck’s already stacked in our favor.” Genma relaxed against the inclined bed, staring longingly at the final Jello cup. He must have sweet-talked the nurses. “Naruto is a fair man, and he’s always had a soft spot for Sakura.”

“The only soft spot he has is the one on his head from how many times she’s decked him.” Shikamaru quipped. “But fear works just as well.”

“Then there’s Ibiki, of course. He’s not going to be your biggest fan, but that’s just one man.” Genma unwrapped the toothpick that came with his untouched food, popping it in his mouth. “Then there’s Lady Fifth. Tsunade.”

“Shishou?” Sakura nearly cheered. “Is she even in the village?”

“She’s required to be for the hearing.” Shikamaru had claimed Genma’s food tray. “If she’s not already.”

“Okay. Two out of three isn’t bad.” Sakura nodded. “There’s five total though, right?” She had tried to do what little research she could on the council, but they were as hard to read up on as ANBU. She was sure that the only reason Genma knew was because he had faced them before.

“The forth is Raka Kerao.”

“Oh man. What a drag.” Shikamaru’s reaction was less than promising. “He’s the one that suggested the law about making it illegal to mention the Ninetails. He’s ruthless when it comes to shinobi law. He’d sacrifice half the village if it meant the old ways were preserved.”

“Two and two.” Sakura sighed. “There’s a chance of swaying Ibiki, but Raka probably won’t be as easy. That leaves the fifth for the majority.”

Genma was surprisingly quiet. That was a bad sign. “That bad?” Shika raised a brow.

“I hate being the one to tell you, sweetheart. He obviously didn’t… Lord Sixth. Kakashi Hatake.”

“Wha-“ A sharp stab of disloyalty shot through her. “Why wouldn’t he tell me? He knew how worried I was…”

“I’m guessing for that look on your face.” Shika took a large bite of something brown, chewing at a lazy pace before realizing they were waiting for him to continue. “You two are dating right?”

“…Not exactly.”

“And if they were, they wouldn’t be anymore.” Genma smiled before he caught the look on Sakura’s face. “Sorry, sweetheart.”

“Well, like you said, we’re already at an advantage. It’s bad enough having an old teammate, and a mentor on the council. Raka is probably screaming about biased as is. Throw Kakashi in the mix, even as her old Sensei, and you’re bound to ruffle feathers. If they found out you two were sleeping together, it might call for a substitute council. One that wouldn’t be so emotionally attached. He probably wanted your surprise to seem genuine. We’re not technically supposed to know who any of them are.”

“I’m sure that’s it.” Genma agreed, though it felt more like he was trying to sooth her.

It made sense when Shikamaru laid it out like that, but he had the ability to make anything seem logical. Kakashi still could have told her. Sakura would have feigned surprised. She found out on her own anyway, so it didn’t matter. “I’m worried it’ll go the other way. That they’ll agree to some kind of punishment for the sake of making it look like they’re _not_ going easy on me.”

“ _Us_ , sweetheart.” Genma corrected as he pulled Sakura into his side again.

“He’s right.” Shikamaru smiled lightly as she reached out to grab his hand. “We’re a team.”

Sakura fell to the mattress with a huff, her breathing deep and uneven. Beside her Kakashi laid in much the same state, with the exception of the lazy smile on his lips. The dull hum in her ears grew louder as her breathing evened to an acceptable pace. Even as her heartrate settled, her skin remained sensitive and aware. It was like her body reacted to just his presence.

“What was I saying?” She finally managed once her brain restarted.

“That you were mad at me for not telling you I was on the council, even though my intentions were pure.” He offered with a hint of sarcasm. As always, Shikamaru had been right.

Sakura tried to grip the sheet to her bare chest, but Kakashi ripped it away with a flirtatious, crooked smile. “Right. You should have told me.” It was weak, but she had already used most of her energy on more pleasurable activities.

Kakashi turned on his side, his lips finding the skin of her shoulder. “And I said I was sorry. Give me five minutes, and I’ll say it again.” The kisses against her shoulder were open-mouthed now, his teeth grazing the small patch of skin before he moved to her collarbone. “I missed you.”

Sakura wondered if he could hear the way his confession made her heart race. She wanted to talk to him as soon as he had gotten back, but decided to indulge one more time. _Just in case._ “You did? Didn’t you have a model to keep you company?”

She felt the curve of Kakashi’s smile against her neck. “Are you jealous?” It almost seemed like a genuine question. The hand that had laid motionless on her stomach until now moved to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer to him. “He was handsome, I suppose. Didn’t do much for me.”

“I’m being stupid.” She sighed in frustration. This isn’t who she was. Not anymore. She wasn’t some woman that didn’t tell a guy how she felt, and then got angry when he couldn’t guess.

Sensing the change in her tone, Kakashi finally emerged from her neck to look down at her. “You’re a lot of things, Sakura. Stupid has never been one of them.”

She took a long second to appreciate the sight of him. Naked, relaxed… happy. If this went bad, this could very well be the last time she ever saw him this way. “I think we need to have that ‘ _something more’_ talk.”


	10. Nine

** Chapter Nine **

He wasn’t running, and he didn’t appear to be panicking. So far, so good. The only reaction she got was a slight lift of an eyebrow. For some reason, when Sakura thought about telling Kakashi that she wanted to talk about their feelings, she had expected him to stutter and run from the room. This was so much worse. He just sat there. Waiting. Sure, she had been the one to suggest the talk, but was he really not going to say _anything_?

“Well?” He asked, his lips ticking upward at the corners. “I’m all ears.”

“You’re making it really hard to like you right now.” Her glare had no effect on him.

“I don’t think that’s true at all. I think you _really_ like me. I’d even go so far as to say that you _like_ like me.” Sakura tried hard not to smile, she really did. She lost the battle when his own grew.

“Fine, _I’ll_ be the adult here.”

“One of us ought to be.”

With a sigh, Sakura rolled onto her side, head supported by her palm so that she was mimicking his position. And because his eyes and hands had a tenancy to wander, she covered herself with the sheet. Only when his dark eyes settled on hers did Sakura smile. Reaching out, she tentatively ran a finger over the scar that cut its way down the center of his eye. He closed it easily, the other watching her intently as she repeated the motion. It was something she had inexplicably always wanted to do. 

“I really care about you, Kakashi.” _Love._ Her brain supplied the word before she was ready to face it _. Not now._ Not when he wasn’t running. Her hand dropped away so he could watch her with both eyes. “I think I care too much to continue sleeping with you if you don’t feel the same. I understand if you don’t, and I won’t hold it against you if this is as far as you want to go. For me, though… I think my heart is already too invested to pretend this is just sex.”

She knew Kakashi well enough to know that he was working it out. Even if he didn’t speak right away, it wasn’t because he was unsure of how he felt. Either way this ended, he already had his mind made up. Now, he was just working on forming the words. While the wheels in his head turned, he lifted a hand to run through the hair at her temple. And Sakura had meant what she said. If Kakashi didn’t feel the same, it would hurt, but she wouldn’t hold it against him. At least in that case, he would be man enough to own up to it instead of leading her on. It was more than she could say for most men. 

“I care about you too, Sakura. It’s… different for me – new. I wasn’t lying when I told you that I thought love and marriage was just another way to experience loss.” His hand still moved softly through her hair. “And I think on some level, it’s true. The thing I hadn’t taken into account before, was that it’s not always something you choose.” Finally letting his hand fall away, his eyes slid to hers. “I left you my Icha Icha.” Her lips pursed so she wouldn’t laugh at the statement. Seeing this, he smiled lightly. “I don’t even read that copy because I’m always so worried about damaging it. It’s kept in a locked box most of the time. I didn’t have to leave you that copy. You weren’t expecting anything at all. But I did. I _chose_ to leave my rarest book with you.”

“Why did you?” She knew what he had written, but hearing him describe it made the gesture so much grander.

“Because I-“ What he didn’t say held more interest to her than what he finally did. “I care more about you than I do the book.” They held each other’s gaze as the truth hung unspoken between them. There was more than just care between them. There was love.

“So what do we do now?”

“I believe the kids call it dating.”

The hearing was set for sometime in the near future – to be decided by the will of the council, apparently. It would have been immediately, but Ibiki had a mission for Kakashi – one Sakura knew nothing about because she wasn’t privy to that kind of information anymore. He was only going to be gone a few weeks, so Sakura busied herself at the hospital. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the healers there, it was that no one took care of her boys like she did. Shikamaru made a better recovery than anyone could have asked for. Even though he still bore bandages and a crutch, it was only until the swelling completely receded. He had some trouble remembering trivial things, but the medics had high hopes that they would come back to him.

Thanks to Sakura’s efforts in the field – Shizune’s words, not hers – Genma healed wonderfully. Although the hole in his chest had left nothing but a scar outwardly, the muscle had grown tight where it reattached. He would be in physical therapy for quite some time before he was ready for field work, and even then, he’d probably never be back to where he was. Of course, that was assuming they didn’t get stripped of their ranks altogether. 

Sakura worked with Genma everyday, while Ino fussed over Shikamaru to the point where he’d give Sakura a pleading look for rescue whenever she passed. When Kakashi’s return date passed with no Copy Nin in sight, Sakura reminded herself that he was always late… that it wasn’t something to worry about.

Luckily, she didn’t need to push away the panic for too long. She found him two days later, drinking and somber against her headboard. He still wore his ANBU uniform, but it wasn’t torn or excessively dirty like she had come to know after such missions. His porcelain mask sat heavily beside the volume of Icha Icha he had left in her care once again. She had insisted that he didn’t have to, but he replied that he wanted to keep his promise of returning home. Of returning to her.

The _Red Label_ in his hand was only half empty, so it seemed more like a half-hearted attempt than a legitimate effort to get drunk. Quietly padding to the bed, Sakura carefully lifted the bottle from his fingers and placed it near his mask. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He didn’t even seem to notice her until she spoke. He moved almost lethargically as he pushed away from the bed, his legs swinging around before he pulled her between them. When his head dropped heavily to her stomach, Sakura ran her fingers through his hair. Before he spoke, Kakashi tightened his grip on her hips.

“She reminded me of you.”

Sakura didn’t ask what he meant. It wasn’t hard to guess. A simple assassination mission then. “I’m right here.” His fingers flexed into her skin. Gentle hands danced their way over his scalp, brushing the base of his neck before repeating the process.

Despite his mood, Kakashi stood fluidly, the length of his body pressing to hers. When Sakura instinctively tried to take a step back, his hands held her in place. There was no anger in his eyes as he took in the soft features of her face. No desperation as his masked nose brushed over the slope of her temple and cheek. Kakashi had touched Sakura countless times over the last several months, but never like this. Never quite so carefully.

The hands that had been biting into her hips released slowly, as if he were afraid she’d run from him. When he was sure that she remained, gentle fingers glided across the dip of her ribs before continuing on. When Sakura opened her eyes – though she wasn’t quite sure when they had closed – it was to the sight of him watching her face. There was so much there - just under the surface. She had never seen Kakashi look quite so tired before. Upward his fingers traveled, skimming the swell of her breasts but not lingering until he reached the sharpness of her clavicle. One hand reluctantly pulled away to rid himself of the mask that stood between them.

When Kakashi’s bare lips brushed her own, it was without rashness or sorrow. It was a kiss for the sake of unspoken solicitude. His mouth didn’t just feel Sakura’s, it tasted her _deeply_ and _fully_ in a way no one else had ever bothered to. It was a kiss that made her heart weak, and legs unsteady. But it was okay. Like always, he was there to catch her.

Layer by layer, he rid them of their clothes, always taking the time to kiss the newly exposed skin. As she laid under him, he catalogued everything. No scar was left uninspected, no curve left un-caressed. When his skin slid against hers, the friction only served to heighten her senses. Being with Kakashi had always been like catching lightning in a bottle. Like holding the chidori in the palm of her hands. It was fierce, and intense, and left her body humming for more. This however, was completely divergent. Regardless of their state of undress, he had done little more than kiss her for the last twenty minutes. And when he reached her lips again, the kiss was just as deep.

This wasn’t a spark of lightning, or unyielding heat. It was the swell and crash of a vast, tempestuous wave. It pulled Sakura under, nearly drowning her in its intensity before breaking again, and leaving her gasping for air. It was all consuming, and dizzying, and _wonderful._ She arched with the theoretical tide, pinched eyes gathering the salty water as Kakashi entered her just as slowly. She forced them open – forced herself to _see._ Beyond the heartache, beyond the alcohol, beyond the composed man she had always known - was _Kakashi_. Real, and intense, and so open to her in a way he’d never been.

Their bodies crashed together- the sea meeting the sand in a steady, intense rhythm. Within the intensity, one truth remained. Kakashi would always hold her heart. It had never been that way with anyone else – it was always meant to be his. Sakura would gladly give it with both hands. After all, he had always protected every part of her.

“I love you.” She heard the rough, raw emotion of his voice through the roaring of the tsunami in her ears.

“Lo-love you.” She breathed into the pleasure and vehemence that consumed her.

When the waves broke again, they pulled Sakura over the edge. Only Kakashi’s body and lips kept her head above water as the ecstasy rippled through her.

Kakashi repeated the declaration of love again as Sakura tried to remember how to breathe. And that was the truth of it, really. He had made love to her in a way she had never before experienced. When her vision cleared and her heart remembered its usual pace, Sakura finally managed to work her eyes open again.

He laid heavily on her chest, his breath ghosting across the sensitive skin of her breasts. Her hand found its way back into his hair, uncaring that it was damp with sweat. “Did you mean it?”

His own rough fingers danced over her stomach and hip, lulling her into a serene state. “Yes.” It was a croak of a whisper, barely audible despite the silence of the room.

“Me too.”

Sakura wanted to enjoy the feeling of waking in Kakashi’s arms, especially after their confessions of love. She wanted to snuggle into his warmth and pretend the world didn’t exist for a while. Maybe even have a repeat performance. All of that was thrown out the window however, when she awoke to the sound of someone in her room. With the sun just rising, and the signature only vaguely familiar to her sleep-addled mind, Sakura’s eyes snapped open around the same time Kakashi pulled the kunai he kept under his pillow. Before she could locate her own, his was already soring, expertly finding its mark.

The shadow of a man caught the kunai with ease before it sunk into the thick fabric of his cloak. His cold eyes didn’t even move from the bed as the reality of the situation dawned on Sakura.

Kakashi sat up beside her, body tense. Somehow, he had managed to pull a mask over his face in the time it took Sakura to process her shock. Out of all the pieces of clothing he could have pulled on, the mask probably shouldn’t have been his first priority.

“Oh no,” Sasuke drawled, lips curled back in a sneer. “Don’t get up on my account…”


	11. Ten

** Chapter Ten **

Sakura held the sheet to her chest, immediately regretting not pulling on one of Kakashi’s old Jōnin shirt before bed like she often did. Beside her, Kakashi appeared calm and relaxed, but his hand’s grip on her thigh was anything but.

“What are you doing here, Sasuke?” Sakura knew the answer, but she didn’t want to hear it. She wanted him gone so that she could return to her happy bubble.

“Well, I returned from an extended mission only to find out that in my absence, I apparently got divorced.” He didn’t look at her. In fact, he didn’t look anywhere but Kakashi’s lazy gaze. Under the sheet, his fingers twitched against her thigh in anticipation.

“How was your mission?” Kakashi asked in a faux bored tone. “Get lots of sightseeing in?”

Blank. They both managed to appear so _blank_. “It was great. Ran longer than expected. How was my _wife_?” The last part was spoken with unfiltered venom.

“If you really want to know, she was ama-“

“No!” Sakura growled. “I’m not going to sit here while you two passive-aggressively piss on my leg.” She stood, holding the sheet to her body as she tossed Kakashi his pants. “I have nothing to say to you, Sasuke.”

“Nothing to say?” He scoffed. “What about me? I’m just supposed to accept that you divorced me with no warning? And Naruto said that you quit working at the hospital over a year ago.” Angrily, he thrust the caught kunai into the top of her dresser. “Now I find out you’re sleeping with Kakashi? He’s our old _sensei_ , Sakura. Is this some kind of midlife crisis?”

Sakura rolled her eyes, refusing to rise to the bait. It took some maneuvering, but she managed to pull on a dress before dropping the sheet. Beside her, a now-dressed Kakashi was leaning against the wall. He was feigning boredom, but the telltale signs of tension remained in his shoulders.

“You left with only a note. We had been having problems for months before that. We were both unhappy, so I did something about it. If you had come home or checked in sooner, you would have known.” She sighed with no real emotion. “Nothing you say is going to change what’s done.”

“So that’s it?” His lip curled again. When he took a step towards her, Kakashi pushed from the wall.

“I’m going to have to advise against that.” His tone was still bored, but his eyes had hardened.

“Don’t tell me what to do in _my_ home with _my_ wife-“ He took another step, but seemed to freeze mid-stride.

“Sorry to interrupt, sweetheart. You know I don’t usually like entering a lady’s home without knocking.” Genma and Shikamaru stood casually on either side of her open window, Shikamaru’s shadow stretched to hold Sasuke in place. “But it sounded like you were having a party. I _do_ love a good party.”

“Sasuke.” Shikamaru nodded, forcing Sasuke to mimic the gesture. “I believe she asked you to leave. Don’t make this whole thing more troublesome than it already is.”

Sakura could feel Kakashi’s presence at her back as his hand landed on her shoulder. “If you wanted to get a punch in, now would be a good time.”

“ _Sweetheart_? How many more men do you have hanging around our home?” Sasuke’s eyes were cold now. “Are you fucking every Jōnin in the village?”

Genma’s sigh was exaggerated. “See, now _I’m_ going to have to punch him.” 

“Nobody is punching anybody.” Sakura cut in as Genma’s fist rose. He pouted in disappointment.

“Are you sure, Sakura? I think I can make it so he punches himself.” Shika’s lips twitched in a smirk.

“As much as I would like to see that-“

“I think we’d all like to see that.”

“- I just want him out.” She finished, ignoring Kakashi’s input.

“Fine!” Sasuke barked. He stumbled slightly as Shikamaru carefully withdrew his shadow. “We’ll talk about this later, Sakura.” It sounded more like a tantrum than a threat.

“No, Sasuke. We won’t. We had our chance at talking. _Years_ , in fact. I’m done talking, and you should be too. I think it’s best that we just go our separate ways. Realistically, nothing will change for you.”

With a pause and a half-hearted glare, Sasuke disappeared in a flicker, leaving the other four standing in aggravated silence. “Well, that’s a great way to start off the day.” Kakashi’s voice was back to casual as his hand moved down the length of Sakura’s spine to settle at the small of her back.

“Hate to pile on, but we’re being summoned.” Genma was serious now, his senbon dipping with his frown. “Our trial has been decided. We have three hours.”

“Of course we do.”

It had been years and years since Sakura had felt so _small_. That was the point, she was sure. The long table that held four out of the five council members was purposefully elevated. Even though the three shinobi on trial were forced to stand the whole time, they still had to tilt their necks back to see the council’s stern faces. Chewing idly on his senbon, Genma stood slouched to Sakura’s left. On her right, Shikamaru’s hands were buried deep in his pockets as his eyes closed in concentration. They hadn’t been able to come up with a plan to sway Raka, but thought that maybe groveling could persuade Ibiki.

A small pop and cloud of smoke shook Sakura from her thoughts as Kakashi smiled from the end of the table. “Yo.”

Sakura worked on furrowing her brows in faux confusion, but it was pointless. The other four were glaring in the Copy Nin’s direction. “You’re late, Lord Sixth.” Raka’s formal tone was washed out by his irritation.

“Ah. Sorry I’m late. I was on my way here when I ran into a tomcat cornering an adorable little kitten. I wanted to make sure the kitty got away alright before I left.” Genma gave a small cough but schooled his features.

Briefly, Sakura wondered how many of Kakashi’s other stories had some basis in reality. “Liar.” Naruto mumbled loud enough for everyone to hear. “You were just with us for our meeting before the trial.” Sighing once, the man’s expression smoothed. “Are we all ready now?”

Naruto sat in the center of the table with Ibiki and Rakka to either side. A (slightly drunk) Tsunade and Kakashi bookended the table. Seemingly all at once, they turned to look at her. “We’ll now begin.” Rakka wrote something on the scroll in front of him. “We’re all aware of the events that occurred to bring about this trial as told in the mission report handed in by one, Haruno Sakura. As well as the verbal account of the aftermath as conveyed by Morino Ibiki?”

There was a chorus of confirming noises. “Are we sure that the events in the mission report can be taken into account? They were written under duress after all.” Kakashi hummed from his end of the table. Sakura nearly blanched at the sight of him lounging, a blue book in his hands this time.

“Can you put that damn porn away, Hatake!” Tsunade’s fist slammed harshly on the table, rocking it underneath them. “This is serious.”

“Ibiki has already come to me with a punishment he’d like to carry out.” Sakura was surprised at Naruto’s cold tone. He didn’t even look at her. She might have been harsh the last time they talked about ANBU, but would he really dismiss her so easily? “I have accepted the parameters.”

“Now hold on!” Tsunade leaned forward to glare at him. “Listen, you little brat! I came back to be on this council for a reason! You’re telling me that you didn’t need me at all!?”

“Lady Fifth, please refrain from calling Lord Seventh a _little brat_.” Raka looked like a parent trying to corral a bunch of rowdy toddlers.

“It’s more of an offer.” Naruto clarified. And still, Kakashi didn’t look away from his book. Her mind supplied images of them the previous night – the way he had touched her. She knew that he couldn’t show favoritism, but wasn’t reading during her trial a bit _too_ detatched? “If they agree to accept the punishment from their commander, no trial will be necessary. If they reject it, their fate will be decided afterward.”

Vaguely, Sakura wondered just when Naruto had grown up. Whenever he was around her there were glimpses of the old him; the playful him. The man that sat under the red and white hat was _not_ Naruto. He was _Lord Hokage_. “Thank you, Lord Seventh.”

Ibiki stood and peered down at them. The last time Sakura had seen him, she had been angry. Insubordinate. If she made it out of this in one piece, she’d have to work on that. “Given Miss Haruno’s role in the events that took place during the mission in question, the offer I am putting forth is for her and her alone to accept or reject. Since she had absent-mindedly acted as captain, she will now make a choice the captain normally would.” He eyed the men at her sides, daring them to speak and get the proposition thrown out before he’d even stated it. “I propose that Haruno Sakura, acting alone in the events that led to the possible jeopardization of the mission, as well as the near deaths of her comrades, be stripped of all shinobi titles. I propose that she be removed as a medic nin, both in the field and hospital. And to that extent, that she be put under surveillance for any chakra use. Violation of the terms will be a jail sentence decided by the council at a future time. Resistance or repeat offenses will call for a retrial where her actions will be treated as treason against Konoha and it’s laws.”

Was she breathing? She didn’t think she was breathing. And _still_ , Kakashi read that _damn_ book. “Upon agreement of these conditions, she will turn in her hitai-ate. In doing so, Shiranui Genma and Nara Shikamaru will be exempt from all disciplinary action. Upon denial, they will face similar charges in a trial that will be held today based on the information we have already obtained. All three will be charged as a unit and will not get a chance to speak to their defense. That is the offer as it stands.”

Quiet… so quiet. Her breathing was heavy, but still everything remained so unnervingly silent. The darkness around her vision told Sakura that she was having a panic attack. That knowledge did nothing to stop it.

“I accept.”

Her voice was an undignified squeak. The sentence was harsher than she had been expecting. It would completely ruin everything she had worked for her whole life. All of her training… all the good she had done. Gone... _But still…_

_“For example… Sakura! Kill Naruto now, or else Sasuke dies…”_

_Kakashi held a kunai to the struggling boy’s throat. They were only twelve! How could her sensei do this!? This was a lesson made only to shock – Sakura was sure of it. No such decision would ever be left up to her…_

_“…The enemy takes a hostage, and you’ve got an impossible choice to make...”_

If she didn’t accept the offer that they gave her, there would be a trial. Although Sakura had faith in Kakashi, Naruto, and Tsunade, she couldn’t expect special treatment. There was too much risk – too much left to chance. This offer… it was what Naruto and Ibiki had considered fair. A trial might mean the same fate for her teammates. It might mean worse. Even on the off chance that they got a lesser sentence, it would be a sentence that they’d all have to endure. This way, Shika and Genma would be able to live their lives freely.

“No!” It hadn’t been the sound of Genma’s growl, but of his senbon clattering to the floor that jolted Sakura from her panic. “I refuse it!”

“The choice was not yours to make.” Raka tisked against his outburst. Miss Haruno-“

“Didn’t act alone.” Shikamaru spoke this time. They stood on either side of her, angry and tall. “We acted as a team. I was conscious and in possession of the scroll when she stopped to heal the captain. They told me to run ahead with the scroll, but I refused to abandon them because I knew it would mean their deaths. If you want to punish her for disobeying orders, you’ll have to punish me too.”

“And I didn’t keep insisting that they leave when they told me that they wanted to stay.” Genma’s nose scrunched in his anger. “I have led this squad for the better part of two years now. Any actions they might have taken were because it was what I trained them to do. As the Captain of ANBU Squad Twenty-Six, I take the responsibility as it was entrusted to me. If you punish either or both of my squad members, I insist that as the captain, you punish me as well.”

They didn’t stand in front of her. Naruto and Sasuke had always stood in front of her – protecting her from the dangers they faced. Genma and Shikamaru didn’t stand to protect her. They stood _with_ her. Shoulder to shoulder. They were a team. A unit. They were a _family_.

No one on the council so much as flinched at the declarations. Kakashi did turn a page in his book, but otherwise, they seemed unfazed. “If you agree to share her sentence you will be given the same offer. You will be stripped of all ranks. You will turn in your headbands, and you will never again hold the title of shinobi.”

“Genma… Shika…” Tears welled in Sakura’s eyes as she reached for both of their hands. Genma’s was strong and determined, while Shikamaru’s was steady and calm.

“We’re not leaving you in exile alone, sweetheart.”

“It’d be a drag to have anyone else on the team.” Shikamaru’s lips twitched in the smallest of smiles.

Drawing a deep breath that sounded suspiciously like a sniffle, Sakura found Ibiki’s hard eyes. If she was going out, at least she was keeping her spine. “You heard my boys, Chief. We’re a family. If we have to chance a trial, that’s what we’ll do.”

Another heavy silence. Another page flip. “Is that to your satisfaction, Ibiki?” Kakashi’s voice held a hint of the smile Sakura knew so well.

Tsunade slammed her fist on the table again, this time barking out a laugh. “You were always my lucky trinket, Sakura! Pay up, Raka!”

Sakura blinked in confusion as Naruto’s stern face gave way to the goofball smile she knew so well. “I knew you’d do it Sakura! I just wasn’t sure about the other two.”

From where he stood, Ibiki smiled as he crossed his arms across his chest. “You’re some team, you three.”

Sakura blinked, frowning as each council member celebrated something she didn’t comprehend. A questioning look to Genma and Shikamaru told her that they didn’t understand either. It was always worrisome when Shika didn’t know something.

“Wait!” She released their hands to hold up her own. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”

Settling back in his chair, Ibiki leaned forward. “As I’m sure you three have heard, I’m retiring soon. For a while now, I’ve been talking with Lord Seventh about splitting the ranks into three subgroups. Field, Medical, and Leadership. These three divisions make for a well-balanced team. With so many agents, we’ve found over the years that there’s been a drop in performance quality because there is no specialization training. The problem we were faced with was that when we treated the subgroups as individual members, it put a strain on teamwork.”

“We’ve done this six times.” Naruto nearly groaned. “Each time, they went directly to trial. The offender wouldn’t even consider taking a hit like that, and the other teammates would get angry enough to try and pin the whole thing on them.”

“In my defense, I didn’t know that’s what this was until ten minutes ago.” Kakashi spoke, his eyes catching hers. No one seemed to question his statement.

“When you gave you little speech, I knew you’d be the three. Your teammates were in the hospital fighting for their lives. I’m sure you blamed yourself enough. Granted, when I started yelling, I didn’t plan any of this.” Ibiki’s smile widened. It was a little disconcerting. “And then you stood up to me. In front of everyone. Not only that - you did it to defend the honor of not yourself, but your team. When we recruit agents, they tend to forget about teamwork. They put on the mask and think of themselves as individuals because they’re sent on solo missions more than any other rank.”

Beside Sakura, Genma popped a new senbon between his lips. “So… we’re not in trouble?” From her other side, Shika mumbled something that sounded a lot like ‘moron’.

“Although we’re not encouraging that kind of mission outcome again, we’re impressed.” Raka’s tone didn’t seem to back his words. Sakura had a feeling that the others had simply out-voted him.

“In the ninja world, those that break the rules are scum… but those that abandon their friends are _worse_ than scum.” Kakashi’s eyes crinkled.

“You three have shown that you’re not only able to harness your individual skills, but that you can use those skills to make yourselves stronger as a unit.” Ibiki took the time to make eye contact with all three of them. “If you agree, I’d like to promote the three of you to head of each of your respective departments.”

Of all the outcomes Sakura had considered for this trial, a promotion was not one of them. A test… it had been a _test_? What if she had failed!? What if she had listened to Shika and Genma when they said they wanted to face it together? The very idea made her dizzy.

“Won’t it cause conflict?” Shikamaru asked while Genma smiled widely. He was probably already mentally printing up his new business cards. “With three department heads sharing a rank, it would mean all decisions would have to be voted on. Sounds like a drag in a tight spot.”

“Well, that’s what the new Chief Commander would be for, in addition to directing Black Ops.” Ibiki looked to Kakashi.

The man had the nerve to smile and raise a hand. “Yo.”

“Oh come on. That’s hardly fair with Sakura-“ Without chakra, she brought the heel of her foot down over the top of his. Groaning, Genma crouched to cradle it. “I was gonna say being his ex-student. You’re so violent, sweetheart.”

“When it comes to business, I don’t play favorites. That only gets people killed.” Kakashi spoke sincerely.

“It would mean less field time for you three. Though, you’d be called in for the tough missions if Kakashi thinks it necessary. It would also mean a pay raise.” Ibiki smirked as Genma jumped to straighten.

“There’s a catch though.” Naruto was still smiling. “You _all_ have to accept.”

“You’re not supposed to tell them that part, Naruto.” Kakashi’s voice was flat.

“Oh yeah.” Naruto laughed, scratching the back of his head. “I hated when you did that to me anyway, Kakashi-Sensei.”

It was… a lot to process. Not to mention a lot of responsibility. When Sakura joined ANBU, it was because she wanted to be in the field making a difference. She wanted to heal her teammates, and kick in the heads of those that tried to hurt them. Taking a position like this would mean less of that. She’d be responsible for training and managing the medics, which was essentially what she did at the hospital. But Ibiki also said they’d be able to take missions if she wanted to – if Kakashi would let her.

“And if we refuse?” Shikamaru asked, always thinking ahead.

“Then you’ll be reinstated as Black Ops.” Ibiki shrugged. “You’ve been on suspension long enough for it to suffice as your punishment.”

“But a repeat will be penalized.” Raka spoke up as Tsunade counted the ryo he slid her.

“Can we have a minute? In the hall?” Genma gestured broadly with his thumb, smile still in place. It was easy to see which way he wanted it to go.

“We’ll all take ten.” Naruto decided. “I’ve got to call home anyway. Hinata’s mad that I forgot our anniversary.” He winced.

Kakashi hummed into his open book. “I wonder who the eighth Hokage will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In retrospect, this chapter is when it all started to get away from me lol.   
> You'll see what I mean V_V


	12. Eleven

** Chapter Eleven **

“We have to take it!” Genma practically pounced on them the moment the doors were closed. “A position like that! We’d get to stay with ANBU, take missions only when we felt like it, _and_ get to traumatize new recruits. There’s nothing to lose.”

“Except our freedom.” Sakura frowned. She hated that it made his smile waver. “I’ve done the whole training – desk thing. It sucks. You’re stuck in the village having to live through everyone else’s stories. They go off and have amazing missions where they make a difference, and you’re left behind to train the same thing to the hundredth group of students. And given that we’re ANBU, most of them will probably die before their training is complete.”

The boys exchanged a look. “Getting a little morbid there, sweetheart.”

“I could really use a smoke. What a drag.” Shikamaru sighed as he fell heavily to sit on the stairs, his head thumping quietly against the wall. “Are you sure this has to do with the job?”

The way his eye slid to her made Sakura feel naked. Sometimes she forgot that there were eight other rookies that grew up alongside her. “I just… I-“

“Don’t want to be left behind.” Shika supplied.

She wanted to deny it, but he was right. She had spent her whole life being left behind. With ANBU, it wasn’t like that. _She_ was out in the field. _She_ was the one that returned after a success. “Yeah.”

“But you heard what Ibiki said.” Genma slung an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his vest. Somehow, he always smelled of peppermint. Considering he chose to chew on a senbon and not gum, Sakura couldn’t figure out why that was. “We’ll be able to take missions. I’m sure Kakashi would give us as many as you want. And Shika and me – we like being out in the field. We wouldn’t leave you to go alone.”

“I just… I can’t explain it.” She sighed and sat on the step below Shikamaru, letting the back of her head fall against his bent knee. “I feel like ANBU was my escape. My way of proving something to myself.”

Genma crouched in front of her, his hand wrapping around her calf. “Your way of proving something to yourself, or your way of _running_ from yourself?” She avoided his eyes because she didn’t like when he spoke so softly. It was too serious. “Maybe you feel like you can’t get left behind if you’re always ahead. That if you distance yourself from the girl that had been hurt by everyone leaving her, people will forget she ever existed.”

She wasn’t going to cry. Her eyes were just glassy; it meant nothing. “You’re not supposed to be the smart one.” She gave a wet laugh as she looked upward, her head pressing down on Shikamaru’s boney knee. “You’re supposed to be the horny one.”

“Hey now! I can be two things.” His hand squeezed where it held her leg. “And so can you.”

“He’s right.” Shikamaru was always gentle when he touched her. Even now, as he brushed his fingers through her hair, it was with a softness she wouldn’t expect from a man that was always so short with everyone. “As troublesome as that is. You can still be the Sakura that cried when Naruto and Sasuke left. That doesn’t erase the Sakura that was willing to die for her teammates on the battlefield.”

“And accepting this job doesn’t make you the old Sakura either.”

Sakura was sure that in the regular shinobi world, their interactions would seem odd. Even for a team that worked together, many would dub them _too_ familiar. They would see more into the casual touches than what was there. Even for ANBU, she and the boys were unnaturally close. At least in ANBU, they didn’t have to explain themselves.

As close as Sakura was to both of her boys, she felt nothing romantic for them. She didn’t even have to ask to know that they felt the same. When she told the council that they were family, she had meant it. After the war, those that lost everything tended to withdraw in on themselves. Sakura had clung to Sasuke with her whole heart. When she lost him, it was like the grief from the war finally hit her. Shikamaru had joined around the same time, while Genma had two years on them. Genma joined for the prestige of it all, but in joining ANBU, had pushed everyone away. He was so lonely when Sakura had first been assigned to him. Slowly, he came out of his shell. It wasn’t until he confessed that he had tried to take his own life after the war that Sakura had learned just _how_ unhappy he had been. For a decade, Genma lived in his solitude.

Shikamaru had always been closed off, but when they entered their Black Ops training together, he hardly spoke. He was the only one in her class that Sakura knew, so she practically latched on to him. With Sasuke gone and her loneliness, he was the closest thing that she had to a friend. She couldn’t tell others about her training, so Shika became her confidant. After months of talking his ear off, he finally opened up and admitted that his mother had died right before he joined. Losing the last of his family had just made him relive his father’s death again. Which in turn, made him relive the war.

As for Sakura - she was tired. She was _so_ tired. For most of her life, she had been pushed aside and forgotten. When she started her training, she was forced to cut ties with those on the outside. It was only advised while they trained but once Sakura received her mask, there was a new confidence about her. She was stronger. She was smarter. Most importantly, she had left others behind. _She_ had been the one to walk away.

There was only one person outside of ANBU that kept ties with her the whole time. Only one person besides her teammates that stuck with her as she found herself. _Kakashi_. He knew her just as well when she was the old Sakura, and yet… he still found love for the new one. These three men – four if she counted her permanent house guest that she somehow saw _less_ often – had grown with her. They had _helped_ her grow.

“Alright.” She sighed. “I’m in.” Genma gave a little smile of victory before looking to Shikamaru.

“What a drag…” He muttered before lifting his head. “Fine.”

* * *

_6 Months Later…_

“This will be your final test.” Kakashi spoke loud enough for the recruits to hear, but still somehow managed to sound tired. “There are five groups of three. Although you have been training with your department heads, you will be scored as an individual. I don’t need to tell you that you will not be getting another chance.”

Nine trainees stood in front of the four seasoned shinobi. If they were lucky, one group would pass. Tomorrow, a new crop of twenty-four would arrive, and they would start over. The test itself was a simple obstacle course; one any Chūnin could complete. And yet, few succeeded.

“I leave you in the hands of your proctors now. They will be the ones to decide if you pass or fail.” He turned back to the three of them, stopping on his way out when he reached Sakura. “Try not to make them cry this time.” The wink was quick, but it still made her smile.

“Alright my little baby birds!” Genma clapped once. “It’s time to watch you fly!” Some looked excited while a few looked like they would be sick. “As Kakashi said, you’ll be paired up in your usual groups but have individual objectives. Me and my lovely teammates here will give each candidate a score of one through ten for each section of the course. That means that although your department head knows what you are capable of, the other two don’t. We will judge based solely on what you do here and now.”

Clipboard in hand, Sakura smirked at the potential ANBU recruits. “There are three sections of the course, each one aimed towards your specialty. The first will be the potential captain’s segment. The second, the medics. Finally, the field agent will be focused last. During each segment, you will find three scrolls, each bearing the mark of your department. Each role will need one scroll if you want to pass. That means, you will each have three chances.”

Sakura knew the course well. After all, she helped Kakashi design it. “The men you’re fighting aren’t going to go easy on you either.” Shikamaru sighed out. “They’re trained ANBU veterans that had to come in on a Saturday, so they’re already pretty peeved. Fight to kill if you want a chance of making it.”

Genma clapped his hands together again, looking entirely too pleased with the event. “Alright! Group number one, head to the beginning of the course. Everyone else, inside where you can’t see all the blood!”

The group shuffled off, whispering amongst themselves. “What do you think?” Sakura smiled once they were out of sight. “I say Genma’s girl cracks first.”

“No way, sweetheart.” He poked the diamond on her forehead, narrowly losing a finger when she swung at his hand. “Shika’s guy probably just watched him nap for the last six months.”

“What a drag.” Shikamaru sighed, eyes turned to the open roof of the ANBU training grounds. “Sakura’s guy will crack, but Genma’s girl will cost them the win.”

“You think so?” Sakura asked with a raised brow. “Alright, let’s see.”

The three potential ANBU stood at the beginning of the course, their faces like stone. “First leg!” Genma chirped. “Captain, this is your section. In this beautiful concrete square is a maze.” He patted the side of the building. “You will be out here with us peering through this just-as-lovely window. Your teammates will be blindfolded and given katana. Your job is to guide them through the maze using the headsets the incredibly sexy Sakura is handing out.” She peered over her shoulder to give him a half-hearted glare. “Remember, you’re only going to see through this window. That means, that you’ll lose sight of them at some point.”

“Hey now.” Shikamaru glared. “No giving your student unneeded information.”

Genma’s girl smiled as he held up his hands. “You’re right, you’re right.”

“The scrolls are spread through the maze, and can be found on this map.” Sakura held up a chakra-infused scroll. You’ll have to guide them to the scrolls if you want to get them before time runs out. There will be enemy operatives throughout the maze, each with their own unique fight style. You’ll be expected to guide one or both of your teammates through the fights as well.” The girl wasn’t smiling anymore. “When you’re ready, you’ll be blindfolded and we can begin. You’ll have twenty minutes for the first part.”

The three proctors stood back with their clipboards, trying not to smile at the team’s distress as they attempted to get through the first (nearly impossible) task. Genma’s girl had been doing a fair job of guiding her teammates until the maze changed and separated them. At the girl’s startled look backwards, Genma casually shrugged and claimed that he forgot to mention that part. While the field agent was guided through a fight, the medic came to a fork in the maze. On his right was a hall that would lead to the medic scroll, on his left one that would lead to the captain’s. They were intentionally set the same distance apart.

_“Which way, Captain?”_ He called into the headset as the captain tried to lead the field agent through another fight.

The captain glanced at the scroll that moved with the maze, finger poised on her headset. _“A little help here!”_ The field agent called when the captain’s voice faltered.

_“You’re ten o’clock. Duck and charge.”_ She licked her lips, glancing at the map again. _“Take a left, Kui. There’s a scroll at the end of that hallway.”_

Smirking to herself, Sakura jotted down the choice while Genma fumed behind his clipboard. “Stupid children…”

The second task was medically focused. Although Sakura always rooted for her candidate, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t doubt him a bit. Kui was a nice boy, but he lacked the focus she preferred in the field. Genma’s girl looked very pleased with her run, and didn’t seem to notice her department head’s frustration. It had been a shitty move, but not enough to disqualify her. She _had_ stuck to the mission objective, but she would need more training if she was to continue.

“The medic portion of the course is simple!” Sakura smiled widely. “Sitting at my feet is a cadaver.” The medic was the only one that didn’t seem to recoil. “Its ligaments have been cut, one of its arteries has been punctured, and there has been excessive trauma to the ribs. Your job is to heal the body. I’ll be monitoring its status through this little device.” She waved the small hand-held screen.

“As you heal, hostiles will be coming at you from all sides. This wall behind me is the last leg between you and allied territory.” She gestured with her thumb to the glorified climbing wall. “You want to get the body as close to allied territory as you can, but be warned, he’s in bad shape. Moving too much or too fast will result in his death.”

“Captain, even though it’s the medic’s stretch, you’ll still be expected to give orders and make calls.” Genma pointed out, no longer enjoying himself.

“Field agent, you’ll be expected to play the role of defense.” Sakura stopped herself from smiling at the non-existent information.

“And don’t forget the scrolls.” Sakura pointed at the wall again. About halfway up sat the captains scroll, while the field agent’s wasn’t far past it. At the very top stood the medic’s blue scroll. “Again, you’ll have twenty minutes.”

“This is painful to watch.” Shika groaned about twelve minutes in. The medic struggled to keep the body level enough to heal the severed artery while the field agent tried his best to bounce from handhold to handhold. The captain called incomings, but hadn’t moved from her protective stance in front of the medic in five minutes. Even when the enemies were staggered, they focused their energy on rushing the medic. “What a drag.” Shika groaned.

A quick look up the wall made Sakura cover her laugh with a cough. The wave of enemies had slowed, so the field agent took the opportunity to grab his scroll from its perch. Genma’s girl stood looking for any signs of incomings, screaming loudly at the field agent to get into position. Meanwhile, the medic was panicking.

“I should just retire.” Genma hung his head until it landed on Shikamaru’s shoulder. “Just tell me when it’s over.”

“We need to move now while the coast is clear!”

“If I move now, the internal bleeding will only get worse! If this guy was alive, he’d be dead!” Another cough-laugh from Sakura. The device she held _did_ in fact indicate that the patient would have died seven minutes ago.

“That’s time.” Sakura called, hitting the button on her stopwatch. “Don’t look so sad, you three. There’s still a third section.” _That you most certainly will not pass._

Sakura’s favorite part was the third section. She would never get tired of the fear in their eyes as they were brought to an empty clearing. “The third phase is pretty straight forward.” Shikamaru sighed. “The field agent will fight an enemy. The captain will direct, and the medic will hopefully save him if he underestimates his opponent. On the far side of the field, are your scrolls. If you haven’t gotten one yet, this is your last chance.”

“Wait…” Shika’s student paused. “Up until now, I’ve been fighting dozens of enemies. You’re telling me that my final test is just one?”

“That’s correct.” Kakashi smiled as he jumped down from his favorite reading spot, book in hand.”

Ah yes, _that_ look of fear was her favorite. “Again, you’ll have twenty minutes.” Shikamaru spoke as if his student wasn’t losing all color in his face. “Your objective is not to beat him. Your objective is simply to survive.”

“Do you think ANBU offers severance pay?” Genma questioned as the would-be captain stood off to the sidelines, warning the field agent that Kakashi was coming from the left.

“Kami, I hope so.” Sakura groaned as her own student slunk away to finally procure his own scroll. “This makes us look so bad. Maybe we should have given them a hint? Trained on it a little more?”

“Some things have to be instinctual.” Shika winced as his student took a punch to the gut. “Then again, getting the lesson knocked into you helps too.”

They looked at her with such hope and longing, that Sakura almost hated to say it. “You all fail.”

“What!?”

“Why!?”

“I did well on my task!”

As they screamed, her temper got the better of her. With a growl, Sakura brought her foot down, the earth cracking and splintering outward. “You failed because you’re all _idiots_!” That seemed to quiet them.

“M-miss. Haruno?” Her student stuttered. “Can we at least know why?”

Huffing once, Sakura crossed her arms over her chest. “This test had three sections and three sets of scrolls, each focusing a different specialization. If we had the test broken into threes, did you ever stop to wonder why we didn’t just test you separately?” The confused looks they shared brought her right back to the bell test. In the tree behind them, Kakashi watched with amused eyes. “Haru, you were supposed to be the captain. When you were given the trust of your comrades, you chose to save your own ass. Kui, you slipped off during the last test to get your own scroll because you were so afraid that you’d fail.”

“I-it was Mayoki’s test-“

“Yes, it was!” Sakura frowned. “But we _never_ said you couldn’t _help_!” The shock was instantaneous. “We laid out the base work for your responsibilities during each task, but none of you went beyond them despite never being told that you weren’t allowed to. During the second portion of the test, neither of you even offered to help carry the body up the wall. Haru, you barked orders like a dog, but never bothered asking your teammate how you could make their tasks easier, because you were so focused on being the _leader_. Mayoki, you chose to jump ahead and get your own scroll, but it never occurred to you to get Kui’s while he was working hard to keep the target alive. We never stated that you couldn’t take each other’s scrolls, or even more than one at a time. And in the final test? You both _abandoned_ your comrade. Because we said it was _his_ fight, neither of you tried to step in, despite knowing that his enemy’s skill level was far beyond his own.”

“I thought that we would be judged separately.” Haru looked thoroughly chastised, her cheeks flushing. “That’s why there were three scrolls. So that we’d each have an objective.”

Sakura’s face worked to remain cross as Kakashi chuckled behind them. “That’s right. We purposefully pit you against each other.” She echoed his words.

“When you’re out in the field, your team is your family. They’re the difference between a successful mission and death.” Genma’s arms crossed over his chest. She hated when he alluded to _that_ mission. Thanks to the wound he sustained, his strength wasn’t at all what it used to be. “When I was fatally injured during a mission, I told these two to leave me behind for the sake of completing our objective. If they had listened, I wouldn’t be standing here today.”

“It wasn’t solely about an objective.” Shikamaru’s tone was cross. “Mindless soldiers are a dime a dozen. When it comes down to it, nothing is as valuable as teamwork.”

Catching Kakashi’s eye again, Sakura allowed herself a small smirk. “Those that abandon their comrades are worse than scum.”

Dejected, they were dismissed. With a sigh, Shika placed his hands behind his head. “What a drag. We still have two more of these.”

“I have a good feeling about the next team.” Sakura smiled as she looked down at her clipboard. The chattering in the holding room halted as they entered. “Team two. Ise Udon, Kazamatsuri Moegi, Sarutobi Konohamaru. You’re up.”


	13. Epilogue

** Epilogue **

Sakura’s eyes narrowed as she watched another group of people pass from the shelter of her alcove. She couldn’t risk being seen now. There was no time, thanks to her laziest teammate. This mission was the most important they’d ever taken, especially for him. She hated to bring so many others in on the execution, but there was just too much at stake. When the group was well past, Sakura made her move. They were already behind schedule and prolonging it any further _wasn’t_ an option.

“Genma, what’s your status?” She whispered into the mic as another group narrowly missed her. “I can’t stall anymore.”

_“I’m trying here, sweetheart.”_ He groaned. They had been in communication for hours, and with each passing one his tone grew more tense. _“I’ve managed to lock down the target, but I need more time.”_

_“Relax, Sakura.”_ Kakashi’s light voice crackled across the radio. _“Don’t take this all so seriously.”_

“Kakashi Hatake! You better not be reading that stupid book at a time like this.”

Silence. An unidentifiable sound filled the radio before Shikamaru spoke. _“You need to stall! I didn’t think it would take this long. If you don’t, I’m as good as dead.”_

“I’m already inbound.” Sakura sighed as she ducked into an empty hallway. “Hinata has managed to keep things under control, but there’s only so much she can do. Have we considered sending in Chōji?”

_“I won’t do it. I won’t sacrifice him like that!”_

With a huff, Sakura pulled open the heavy wooden door just as Genma ripped his headset out of Shikamaru’s hands. “You’re not even dressed!” Both men froze.

“I’m half-dressed.” Shika pointed to his pants.

“I’m sure Ino will be perfectly fine with a _half-dressed_ groom.” Sakura deadpanned, eyes narrowed. “And you!’ She pivoted to where Kakashi was leaning against the wall with his book. “What did I say about the book?”

“Ah. Sakura.” He gave her a nervous smile and slipped it into his suit jacket. “What did you expect me to do? Dress the poor man?”

“I’m positive that your shitty punctuality is rubbing off on these two!” Reaching up, she grabbed Genma by the ear and pulled him down to her height.

“Hey now! When I said I liked it rough, this isn’t what I meant!” He winced as her eyes narrowed.

“You were left in charge of getting him here. What happened?”

“We got sidetracked! He’s here now, so what’s the big deal?”

“What’s the big deal?” Sakura scoffed as she released him. Reaching up with a pout, Genma rubbed the tender lobe. “The big deal is that Ino’s almost ready to walk down the aisle, and we have no idea where Shika’s vest is.”

“We’ll find it, woman.” She chose to ignore when he murmured something about hormones. “Should have just eloped. This whole wedding is troublesome.”

“Don’t let her hear you talking like that.” She only lightened up a little when Kakashi’s hands found her shoulders. “And that better not be smoke I smell, Nara!”

“Good news!” Sai’s wooden smile appeared at the door. “I’ve found your vest.” The room breathed one collective sigh. “The bad news is that Ino had it. So now, she knows that you’re not ready.”

Closing his eyes, Shika tilted his head back. “What a drag.”

Sakura watched Ino’s cousin link arms with Genma as they started down the aisle. She had done everything in her power to make this wedding go smoothly, so the rest was up to Shikamaru. Considering Ino had insisted on personalized vows, things could still go _very_ wrong. Linking her arm with Kakashi’s, she smiled at him. At least now all they had to do was stand there.

“You look beautiful, by the way.” He whispered under the music as he squeezed her arm.

Sakura smiled, resisting the urge to turn and look at him. “I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to say that to the bride.” With eyes on them, Sakura tried hard not to move her lips. Of course, Ino chose a venue that was a mile long.

“Well, maybe you should be one.” Her smile grew strained around the edges, and it was only because he pulled her forward that she didn’t stop. “We’re already living together, so…”

It was true that they had moved in together three months ago, but this… He had proposed! At someone else’s wedding! _While_ they were acting as a bridesmaid and groomsmen! He had to know that this wasn’t the time. He was just doing it to get a rise out of her.

_Okay, Hatake. Two can play that game._ She waited until they were nearing the end of the aisle. “We should probably wait until after the baby is born.” It took every ounce of her willpower not to laugh at his widened eyes.

Before he could ask any questions, they separated and went to their designated spots. Luckily for Kakashi, Ino was far too focused on the event to notice the one groomsman who stared off into space with a panicked look in his eyes. Halfway through the ceremony, Sakura looked to Kakashi only to find that he was _still_ staring. She bit her lip to keep from laughing at the fact that she had broken his poor brain.

Once the ceremony was over, Sakura expected him to drown her in questions as soon as she took his arm, but he didn’t speak. He hardly blinked, now that she thought about it. Freed from the main hall and lingering eyes, Sakura pulled Kakashi aside, pinching her lips together. The poor man’s gaze just slid from her face to her stomach and stayed there.

“Kakashi…” She cautiously called when he didn’t speak.

“Baby…” He breathed finally. “I … they’re…”

Yup, she broke him. “Kakashi! Relax! I was _kidding_!” That seemed to wake him up. “I was just getting back at you for your joke proposal!”

His brows furrowed. Okay, so maybe his brain was still restarting. “I… It wasn’t a joke! So there’s _no_ baby?”

Now they were both blinking like idiots. “Your proposal was real?”

“You lied about being pregnant?”

They were talking themselves in circles. Aware of the crowd around them, Sakura grabbed Kakashi’s hand and pulled him towards the room Shikamaru had gotten ready in. Once she was sure that they were alone, she turned to him.

“Let’s try this again.” She breathed, glad to see that his eyes seemed a bit clearer as well. “When you proposed to me – while walking down the aisle at _someone else’s_ wedding, you meant it?”

Kakashi shrugged. “Is that not allowed?”

“No! It’s most certainly _not_ allowed!” She huffed, but there was no real anger. “You want to marry me?”

“That’s usually what a proposal indicates.” He scratched the back of his head. “Can we talk about how you lied about being pregnant now?”

“I thought you were messing with me! I was just trying to get you back!” She defended. “You look – are you _disappointed?_ ”

“I guess I am.” He seemed just as shocked at the information. “I’ve never considered kids, but when you said you were pregnant…” He shook his head as if he were trying to clear it. “I just thought of a little baby with your smile and eyes…” Even with the mask, Sakura could tell his expression softened.

With shallow breath, Sakura smiled softly. “You want to have a baby with me?”

“I’d rather marry you first.” The casual way he spoke made Sakura’s heart skip a beat. He spoke of it as an inevitability. Maybe it was.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Kakashi was clearly confused, but wrapped his arms around Sakura as she stepped into him.

“Okay. Let’s get married and have a baby.”

This was what she had been seeking – Sakura realized as Kakashi rid himself of his mask to press a firm kiss to her lips. She hadn’t just been running away from her past self, she had been running _towards_ him. ANBU, the deaths, the stress – they had all been worth it. They had been the trials that led her to Kakashi.

Breaking the kiss, Sakura frowned at the hard lump in Kakashi’s suit jacket. With a crooked smile, he reached into his pocket and produced a bottle of _Red Label_. “I wasn’t sure if you would say yes. I’ve been carrying this around for a week just in case.”

“For a genius, you can be pretty stupid.” With a fond smile, Sakura took the bottle from his hand and popped the seal. “ _No_ was never an option.” Bringing the bottle to her lips, she watched the way his deep eyes sparkled. “We can’t just let good saké go to waste.”

“ _Good_ saké might be a bit of a stretch.” Still, he wrapped his fingers around the cool glass and took a drink of his own. The familiar label danced happily as he lowered the bottle, catching Sakura’s eyes. It had been grief, and the cheap sake that bound them in the beginning. It only made sense that it was with them at the start of a new chapter. “To happy endings.” His lips twitched in a smirk.

Maybe… _just maybe_ , Sakura could learn to believe in them too. “To happy endings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know... The ending sucked. It's why I was reluctant to post the fic in the first place. Still, I figure SOMEONE might enjoy it.   
> Special thanks to everyone that took the time to read/comment! Ily all<3


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